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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Ezra Levant's Hilarious, Yet Predictable Tantrum on Election Night

That's kind of an overdone title, but it's completely appropriate because it is true. I know it's been a few weeks since the election and Trudeau was just sworn in as Prime Minister last week, but ever since the night in which (to be linked to later) article in question was published I felt like saying something about Levant's hissy fit sore-loser tirade on his inappropriately titled "The Rebel" website. Of course, that same tirade is centered entirely around the election.

I want to open with a tangent, probably a few paragraphs long I am sure. As convincing as some of his headlines may be to the casual observer, and all of them are very cynical indeed (and because of this, they can be grabbing; I'm sure Levant learned this trick in his years as a polemicist), sometimes fear-laden ones. So if you're looking for the hot scoop, are gullible (easily influenced by partisan "journalism"), and are eager to hear the full story even if most who are telling it are telling you spin, then you're probably already buying into his asinine garbage. Every single thing he writes isn't to inform readers, but to persuade them into taking on his way of thinking. He's either attacking somebody like a frothing attack dog, or defending one of his buddies (usually in the non-renewable energy industry, such as former emperor Prime Minister Stephen Harper) like a frothing guard dog. Sometimes I am surprised he doesn't take a contributor role at the circus that is Fox News because he really would fit right in.

There are important things to bring up before digging into his very bullshit-ridden article to which I will link, regrettably, because it will probably just generate (as little as possible given that I know I don't get much traffic at all) a few page views vital to his cause. Anyway, Ezra Levant has a funny history that he doesn't tell you on his site, in which he self-proclaims to be the "Rebel Commander", the use of which is more telling than anything else. You see, there's a reason he has defended our outgoing Prime Minister and his reign of terror for the entirety of his, well, reign; they're not only former colleagues (they probably will resume this relationship at the very least given that Harper has moved back to Calgary, on a VIP flight provided by the Prime Minister himself!), but they are also friends. This, to some, is some silly thing called a "conflict of interest" wherein you defend something, be it a person, cause, or group/organization because you have a vested interest in it, either and/or personal or professional. Without being too condescending in pretending to be a living, breathing dictionary, Ezra Levant has a personal stake in exactly everything that Harper does, and has done.

It also needs to be stated that Ezra is directly tied with the non-renewable energy sector in a professional matter. His book, "Ethical Oil: The Case for Canada’s Oilsands" was not written by accident; it is entirely PR-driven propaganda meant to stave off any criticism directed at the oil sands by redirecting any ire people may have for it at Middle Eastern oil, namely Saudi Arabian & Iraqi oil. Anyone who is fucking anyone knows and would agree with Levant that the oil sands certainly has a moral advantage over the other stuff because of the lack of people getting killed over it, but that really is all that you can say about it. The oil sands has a red ledger, too, and while most people gloss over this by saying "well at least it creates jobs/you don't hear about any issues with it do you?", you can still find out that it wasn't all roses. You know, dumping the discards of bitumen extraction into local geography that included bodies of water (or seeped into bodies of water, as most polluters wish wouldn't happen but it truly does), and the Alberta government mistakenly placing all its eggs in the energy-sector basket (look where that's gotten us).

Never mind that Norway has a far superior economic model than we do. They're handling all of this same stuff better than we ever have and probably ever will, no matter who is running the government and to boot, they're far happier than we are. Makes you want to move there, eh? Whatever, this is about Levant and not about happy Scandinavians. In any case, as Levant was biting his nails in disgust and dread over his fellow Canadian voters giving a 39.5% majority vote to the eeeeeeevil Liberals that one fateful October 19th evening, he was slamming his keyboard to come up with his very predictable reactionary article: Justin Trudeau won. What now? Keep in mind that Levant is the same charming personality who went on a completely insane tirade over Trudeau photo-bombing (with permission, mind you) a wedding photo wherein he gives the bride a peck on the cheek. That wasn't the only time Levant had gone after Trudeau in such a petty fashion, because Trudeau bit him back in response. Oh that Lil' Trudeau, he likes attention don't ya know it?

His article is full of fear mongering, hate mongering, and straight up logical fallacies so numerous and potent that you could use it in University to make a case for "what not to write in Journalism 101" He violates all the rules in the book and happily takes things out of context when he wants to, because providing the real context would hurt his own narrative. The next block is straight out of the article for the purpose of point-by-point response:


Justin Trudeau just won a majority government. Get ready for the pain.
He promised to raise taxes, raise spending and put our country back into debt.
He vowed to kill the Northern Gateway pipeline and to bring in new carbon taxes.
He said he'd abandon our military mission against ISIS terrorists, and take in 25,000 Syrian migrants by Christmas.
Do you doubt he’s going to do it?
His ideas will be a disaster. Government will grow. Personal freedom
will shrink. Our national security will be weakened. And our foreign
policy will tilt far left.
Trudeau is the candidate who said he admires China for its “basic dictatorship”, and promises to normalize relations with Iran.
And who’s going to stop him?
The political left controls most provincial legislatures and the courts. Every university and NGO pushes to the left.
But the worst is the mainstream media. For nine years, they weren’t just watchdogs — they were mad dogs. I called it “Harper Derangement Syndrome”.
Well, after watching the media's pro-Liberal bias in this campaign, do you doubt that they’re about to become Trudeau's lapdogs?
So who will hold the Liberal government to account? Who will shine a light of public scrutiny on what Trudeau does — his fan club at the CBC?
The Sun News Network is gone. The National Post is in disarray. The Conservative Party itself will now be consumed with a divisive leadership race.
So who will be the people’s opposition?
 The rest of the article is blatant self-aggrandizement that seems to be a very funny, sore-loser like response to the election results. If you read some of the supporting comments on the article you'll see people making such inane and logically self-defeating arguments as, "Only 68.1% of eligible Canadians voted and only 39.5% voted for the Liberals so the majority of Canadians don't support them", even though the most effortless refutation to that argument is that a smaller percentage of voting Canadians voted for the Tories so even less people support them. But can you expect brain power from loyal readers of Levant's inept ramblings?

But let's respond to the temper tantrum on display, shall we?

Justin Trudeau just won a majority government. Get ready for the pain.

If he and his government roll back at least some of the cuts Harper's government made to healthcare during his tenure, then at least someone will be able to ease whatever pain comes from this election. If it ever does, anyway.

He promised to raise taxes, raise spending and put our country back into debt.

As for taxes, the only increase would be on those who are in the 1 percentile range. You know, the people who hold the majority of the wealth in his country and have been allowed to pocket more and more of it from the rest of us while the cost of living continues to surge faster than what we actually make at work. Yes, every year we'd get a minimum wage increase, usually of 25 cents per hour, but can $10.50 an hour help you keep your barebones bachelor suite in Vancouver afloat for even a whole month? Probably not. As for spending, you know what they say, "you gotta spend money to make money." 

An oblivious bragging point for the Tories right now even though by rights they shouldn't, is how they 'balanced the budget'. Unfortunately, you don't achieve that while the country is in a recession wherein several hundred thousand Canadians lose their jobs in less than a year and thus are unable to spend as much money around the country as they could before, let alone contribute to tax collection. You get a "balanced budget" by making cuts to various programs, mostly for ideological reasons. On the subject of spending (especially of the lavish variety) remember that Harper, during the 2010 G20 Summit in Toronto, personally spent $1+ billion in securing police security forces that went on to commit crimes against humanity that will line the history books for years to come. Also remember his "Economic Action Plan" that put more money in the pockets of his political pals than in those who were said to be benefit from it such as post-secondary students, which included myself for two years during the early 2010's.

As for debt, we aren't alien to that. There is such a thing as "debt recovery" although I am sure that right-wing blowhards like you love to deny its potential manifestation in the case of Trudeau's run in the government. If the USA can get on that road to recovery, then surely we can.

He vowed to kill the Northern Gateway pipeline and to bring in new carbon taxes.

Don't forget that he wants the Keystone XL pipeline to move forward, so he's not all bad, guy! But, when it comes to carbon taxes, if you have read any interviews with Trudeau in the past year you'd know that he finds a centralized, federal approach is dated. Rather, he wants it to be left to the provinces. Indeed, Quebec (Alberta's most hated target), B.C. and even Alberta have their own systems for carbon taxation. The latter two in particular are revenue neutral and Alberta's system actually brought about a decrease in individual tax rates. There's no other platform that his party has pertaining to carbon taxes, so lying about it just gets you nowhere, Ezra.

He said he'd abandon our military mission against ISIS terrorists, and take in 25,000 Syrian migrants by Christmas.

If you mean that he'd abandon Harper's current methodology of putting boots on the ground to get killed aimlessly while only protecting Syria & Libya, as Harper's government was only willing to protect those two regions in spite of ISIS' continuous and worrying growth throughout Asia and even Northern Africa, then yes. But to say that he wouldn't do anything about that conflict but abandon it, a conflict for which there is a huge conundrum with no simple solutions, is  simply fallacious. He now wants to do it the responsible way, which I assume to mean restoring our image as peace-keepers who distribute medical and food aid to affected regions rather than trying to look like gung-ho glorified killers. The Syrian refugee crisis is another conundrum for which there are no simple answers. You need to take in at least some, but if you're going to let paranoia and fear of a few possible ISIS fuckheads taking advantage of this exodus determine your final decision on the matter then ISIS has already won. As for doing all of that by Christmas this year? That's a stretch, regardless if Trudeau said it or not. Because the plan now is to get something done by 2016.

Do you doubt he’s going to do it?

Loaded question of the century. You had already made up your mind prior to even writing that; you just had to come to terms with it and accept it.

His ideas will be a disaster. Government will grow. Personal freedom will shrink. Our national security will be weakened. And our foreign policy will tilt far left. Trudeau is the candidate who said he admires China for its “basic dictatorship”, and promises to normalize relations with Iran.

What a load of crap, all of it. You don't know if something will be a disaster until it is actually implemented and its effects are felt. But unlike what the media in this country wants to tell you, you need to let things take their course before you can judge them. Even prior to the Alberta NDP government enacting any kind of tax increase, rather just announcing a possibility of them, you had media and their friends in the energy sector (mostly) committing crimes against humanity by laying off hundreds, even thousands of people just over the possibility of a tax increase on the wealthiest Albertans. And then the NDP themselves said that "no tax increase will happen on their watch" and the companies betraying these now unemployed Canadians looked even worse than before.

How will the government grow, exactly? And personal freedom will actually grow at least a little bit because he wants to legalize marijuana, which reduce the number of new felons added to our criminal justice system. Lots of people like to smoke the stuff in this country, and under Trudeau they won't have to worry about merely being seen possessing the drug. I dunno, man, that sounds like more personal freedom than the other way around. 

How will our national security be weakened? If anything, the Liberals will be more open diplomatically (not shunning the United Nations is one thing) and won't be so antagonistic towards foreign bodies. What's wrong with that? Or do we have to maintain the status quo that really is much ado about nothing? What you probably like, Levant, is his apparent position on recognizing a Palestinian state; he won't. 

The last line is especially egregious and is perhaps the most sinful handful of words assembled in the article. What Levant is purposefully doing is trying to engineer a train of thought; the thought, in your gullible head of course, that Justin Trudeau actually likes that China is a "basic dictatorship." That would be the case if it were what he said, but it isn't. Granted, I've read what he really said and frankly it isn't all that much better, given that it infuriated a lot of people, but you be the judge.

From the CBC's article - Justin Trudeau's 'foolish' China remarks spark anger (click here to read):
The Liberal leader was asked which nation he admired most. He responded: "There's a level of admiration I actually have for China. Their basic dictatorship is actually allowing them to turn their economy around on a dime."
 Base level literacy reveals that he didn't express admiration for their basic dictatorship, but for the economic recovery they made, for which the basic dictatorship as he calls it is partially responsible. Mind you his choice of words was still rather poor, being that China has a reputation for squelching political dissidents and controlling information traffic in the country, whether by televised media or via the internet. They certainly don't have a sterling reputation as a bastion of freedom, but he's at least partially correct. Just like, and you can't deny this, the fact that Hitler's reign of terror in Germany jump-started an economic recovery for the country that was hit the hardest following World War One (the Treaty of Versailles did the country no favours) and the Great Depression. You could certainly say a lot of bad things about Adolf, for sure, but he did do something right, even if people suffered pain & death in the interim.

To cut this one short I will state an observation I've made over the years about self-professed right-wingers: they are very quick to commit such fallacies as quote-mining (as seen here) and cherry picking, so this is no surprise to me.

And who’s going to stop him?

You obviously fancy yourself as the one who is going to stop him. Provided you get donations from your readers. As if you didn't get enough from the crowdfunding drive you ran in order to jump-start your shitty site in the first place.

The political left controls most provincial legislatures and the courts. Every university and NGO pushes to the left.

Even the ones run, partially or in full I am not entirely sure, right here in oil country? Athabasca University ring a bell? It's pretty much paid for by interests for which you fight, Levant. 

Otherwise this point appears to be a non-sequitur. What does this really have to do with Trudeau winning the election? You do realize that Atlantic Canada, half of which historically voted Conservative in most elections, was fucking swept by the Liberals this election cycle? That came as an absolute surprise to me given that I've come to know about the place after living there for over half a dozen years.

But the worst is the mainstream media. For nine years, they weren’t just watchdogs — they were mad dogs. I called it “Harper Derangement Syndrome”.

Another egregious example of you sticking up for your good buddy Harper, no matter what reality says otherwise. Our media just happens to be a lot more partisan-neutral than you'd like. Also, you conveniently leave out the fact that Harper not only detested our media, but controlled it with an iron fist. Media blackouts and self-serving demands like not attending debates where "tough questions" would be asked of him were just some of the routine acts he's pulled off, all so the people of Canada don't see him for the chickenshit bully that he is. He hardly ever gave them a chance, that is unless they were your former TV station Sun Media where he was treated like a fucking GOD! 

And good on them any time they'd actually hold him accountable for his actions. I know for sure that you want something like this done to Trudeau and on that I'd absolutely agree, simply by virtue of him being Prime Minister, but when it's done to your good pal(s) you turn the other cheek and pretend the rules don't apply to you.

Fuck that.

Well, after watching the media's pro-Liberal bias in this campaign, do you doubt that they’re about to become Trudeau's lapdogs?   

It should be mentioned that Post Media was fucking outed, on election night (only echoed in the media shortly thereafter) for trying to get every single paper the organization owns, which includes your god awful "Sun" rags by the way, to endorse Stephen Harper. In the editorial sections, especially. Who was the National Post guy present with Peter Mansbridge that night? I forgot his name but you know who I'm talking about. That's the guy whose ties to the National Post was cut because he refused to endorse Harper.

But granting you this, if they do become his lapdogs, then they should by all means be held accountable for this infraction, whenever or however it takes place. See how easy that is? Mind you, you and your ilk would be given the same fucking treatment were things different on election night.

So who will hold the Liberal government to account? Who will shine a light of public scrutiny on what Trudeau does — his fan club at the CBC?
   
Hopefully the legitimate media, and not your "rebellious" one that carries such a blatantly obvious partisan agenda. There will definitely be scrutiny directed at his cabinet's actions. What matters most is that it is as fair and partisan-free as possible. I know that you and your toadies at The Rebel and anything in Post Media won't grant him that, so you guys can piss in a hat.
  
The Sun News Network is gone. The National Post is in disarray. The Conservative Party itself will now be consumed with a divisive leadership race. 

So who will be the people’s opposition?

Thank the cosmos for the first part! And the National Post is a disgrace to journalism, so hell fucking yes to that, too! And it's about time they get a new leader. Maybe then they won't alienate so many voters and might actually charter a new course for Canadian politics. Or maybe they won't. 

And you don't care about the people, so please, don't pretend. You care about yourself and your rich buddies in the oilsands and in the PC party, not the people who actually have to struggle to get by in this country that has allowed itself to be overly dependent on industry that has since failed it. But by all means keep entertaining us with these inane rambles about Trudeau, for whom you have a very fascinating yet creepy obsession.
 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

AM1200 Review (Horror/Thriller, DreamLogic Pictures)


Get ready for spoilers.

Well it took a while to track this gem down and I finally did tonight. It's a short film of only 39 minutes but those minutes are never squandered. The film was also met with a limited physical release. People who have watched it describe it as Lovecraftian, and when you too give it a gander, you will see exactly what those people mean.

One thing that pops out about the film is the film's minimalism. It has standard filmography that doesn't break any new ground on its own, but that's not befalling of the film's quality. The quality comes from the pacing and of course the eponymous "AM 1200", a radio station from which our anti-hero catches a distress signal. At night. A number of strange goings on, starting with some of his electronics on hand shorting out or suddenly ceasing their functions, mysterious lights forming in the wilderness, and of course the seemingly abandoned radio station all hint at something sinister.

So he goes inside, daft as that may be, and he too tries calling for help. More odd things make him go exactly where he's needed. As he investigates the radio station, noticing a barricaded door in the interim, he comes across a man detained to a pole. The man has clearly come out of some strange spell for he's not only entirely irrational, but is borderline psychotic. The encounter gets stranger and stranger hinting at a greater, more sinister force at work, but then his actions lead to the protagonist being forced to kill him.

After he does this, a strange, unexplained force seems to assault his mind. It's a struggle that he ends up losing and it gets the better of him. He grabs the detained man's body, hauls him over to the barricaded door, removes the barricade, then brings him down a cellar staircase. He hoists the body onto a workshop table of some sort and in a cold fashion he dismembers it. After he takes possession of a couple of those body parts, and brings them toward a hole in the floor.

Our protagonist peers into the hole, which at first resembles a well filled with water. Then something shifts within. It is this something that beckons him to offer the fruits of his horrible misdeed as a twisted feeding ritual. When this is done, he clambers toward the radio equipment that is still working and makes a call for help. The cycle continues.

So with the plot out of the way, let's get down to basics. First is the most noticeable aspect of the film: it is very short. This is not to the detriment of the product because everything that needed to be shown to the viewer was indeed all that was necessary. Ever heard of a little something called "excess" or "bloat", when referring to movies? Well at least this film can't be declared guilty of this. It's short and to the point, which is perfect. And because the film will very likely leave you with questions about what actually happened, that means the mysterious aspect of the plot was written well. It's a horror film with a cosmic tinge. In other words, the perfect Lovecraftian horror film.

Ray Wise, not exactly an A-Lister by some means (he's had credits in RoboCop, Jeepers Creepers 2, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2, and Twin Peaks to name some), does show up in flashbacks to establish the protagonist's backstory, before he's on the run in his car to be exact. Not much is done with Wise's character otherwise but the whole sequence in which he appears does help to cement the film's dreary tone, something akin to a neo-noir film.

There are damn near no special effects used at all. And this actually works to the film's benefit because it ends up being, feeling so raw. When inexplicable lights appear in the woods, seeming to float their way closer and closer to our protagonist, you do feel a bit of dread as to what it is. As more and more strange goings-on manifest to scare the main character into taking shelter. One feeling that you may get from watching the whole thing is that it is all so minimalist. The radio station of note seems particularly tiny, but that adds to how fucking creepy the place is. Then towards the ominous ending you learn the terrible secret literally lurking right underneath.

If you want powerful chills coupled with modest brevity, then AM1200 is the horror flick for you. My only complaint right now is that the official DVD for this rather short (not that it's a downside in itself) film warrants a fifteen dollar price tag. If you think that's reasonable then by all means get it, and show your friends.


B+

The Good: 

+ Nothing in the duration of the film is wasted. It builds up to something, shows us the source of the horror, then sets up more atrocities.
+ Eric Lange delivers convincing emotional responses to the strange occurrences in the film.
+ Makes you keep guessing. That's how you do suspense!
+ The lack of music overall compounds the dread.
+ The radio station is definitely the creepiest part of the film.
+ Is inspired by the works of Lovecraft.
+ That thing in the hole.

The Bad:

- The film's brevity may actually turn off some viewers.
- Leaves  you wanting more.
- The film's price tag is a tad on the steep side.
- Little is done with Ray Wise's character beyond providing backstory to Lange's character.

 


                                                               

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The Avengers: Age of Ultron Point-By-Point Review (2015, Action/Adventure/Fantasy/Science Fiction, Disney/Marvel Studios)

 

 

What Rocked:

  • Feels bigger; the scale is bigger, more locales are explored, a lot more heroes are involved (and in retrospect when Infinity Wars I & II come out, this will have nothing on the two-part third act), and the stakes are bigger. Loki wanted to rule the world like he always has, whilst Ultron wants to kill everybody and replace everyone with cybernetic beings.
  • No slow start. The very opening of the film sees the Avengers beating the ever-loving shit out of HYDRA goons. And the whole scene is awesome.
  • Contains a clever jab at Disney, in the form of a joke (that kind of runs its course a bit too much), that pokes fun at how they're still sensitive over coarse language cropping up in major film properties. If only you guys could witness how foul-mouthed much of your target audience actually is, Disney!
  • The pacing of the film seems better at times than in the first film, but at other times (yeah, no specific examples needed, just watch the film)...
  • Ultron is arguably more menacing as a villain than Loki, but he's a lot more one-dimensional. Loki has a huge inferiority complex and he's not irredeemably evil, plus he's leashed by Thanos. Ultron suddenly wants to pull a Skynet almost right out of the gate. And he hates Tony Stark. Still, I had the feeling that Ultron would have done far more damage than Loki had he been allowed to. And you know what? He did.
  • Quicksilver & Scarlett Witch. I liked them both. The former for his cocky wit and the latter for the sheer possibilities her abilities may bestow upon the franchise (much of what she is capable of in the comics is left intact in this film).
  • Hulk is one of the better developed characters in the film. In one scene in particular, the Hulk himself sees the destruction he (and Stark, don't forget him) caused and the fear he has struck in the hearts of bystanders. This causes him to feel remorse, and it is on full display. Then he goes through the same offhanded treatment he gave to Thor in the previous movie. Guess what that is. 
  • Avoids being a "destruction and special effects at the expense of bystanders' livelihoods" fiasco as seen in the lackluster Man of Steel.
  • The Hulkbuster vs. Hulk fight, while feeling a bit cut short in the end, was satisfying.
  • Hawkeye is no longer borderline useless. He actually does some damage this time around.
  • Captain America, thanks in part to the quite exceptional "Winter Soldier" film last year, shines brighter than he did in the first outing.
  • Johannson is as hot as ever as Black Widow. And she was pregnant through most of the filming!

What Didn't Rock:

  • The editing was clearly done in haste and to placate the fierce demand for a (condensed) theatrical release, some scenes were altered drastically or removed entirely.
  • Thor, aside from a few tricks pulled off with Mjolnir as per usual, does damn near nothing of note.
  • The action appeared too blurry, seemed far too closely shot at times (the first battle with Ultron comes to mind), and there are so many jump cuts I felt like I was watching a god damn Michael Bay film.
  • We see Black Widow trying to seduce Bruce Banner, hinting at a ship between the two, but we just don't feel it. Not to mention that considering what happened in the first movie (hint: Banner loses control of his Hulking out and almost does her in), it doesn't make fucking sense.
  • Ultron made a few too many jokes to be believable as a cold, determined, calculating AI. I know Joss wanted us to feel some human traits in him but they pushed that angle a little too far. It was hard to take him seriously at times. The "we all create the things we dread" scene, anyone?
  • Stark's role in, inadvertently I must add, making all the film's shit occur (though Banner's reluctant supporting efforts in letting the shit hit the fan could be considered for him a pass) barely gets mentioned nor taken to task. Sure, Thor hoists him up in the air in anger for his ambitions regarding The Vision, in light of what they produced previously in the film, but that's about all that happens.
  • Nick Fury shows up all of a sudden. The tens of millions they spent on shoehorning Samuel L. Jackson into the sequel, in spite of SHIELD having been dismantled previously (and if you're on top of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D spinoff, whatever remains of S.H.I.E.L.D. in the shadows is led by Coulson), could have been spent on improving the film in other aspects. So yeah, we didn't get an AoS crossover.
  • *MAJOR SPOILER -- YOU'VE BEEN WARNED* Quicksilver gets killed so unceremoniously and suddenly that it's a complete mystery as to why Disney & Marvel went to such great lengths to secure the film rights to use this character. And as it turns out, screwing the nail in the coffin further, is that this character isn't set to re-appear in the MCU for "quite some time." What the fuckery ensues.
  • Hulk is played more seriously this time around, and his character suffers for it. Although he does show some humanity at the climaxes of his rampages, the film portrays him in a darker way that kind of at times kills the excitement that he generated previously in the first film. At least he still smashes.
  • Twenty minutes or so is spent at the Hawkeye family farm out in the middle of nowhere. Although it's a breather episode in an otherwise frantically-paced film, it serves as a big tease that amounts to exactly the opposite of what it was teasing at (considering Joss Whedon's methodology in foreshadowing the deaths of his characters). And that's also when Nick Fury just suddenly shows up. The entire duration spent at Clint's getaway house served to divide the fanbase, big time.
  • The scene wherein Ultron comes to life for the first time, in particular when he's in the form of a holographic programming display (oh Hollywood, AI programming has come a long way from that. You silly Willies), is narmy as all hell.
  • Ultron's development is rushed.
  • Ultron is vulnerable to being pigeonholed by shutting off the internet. I'm not kidding. And that's just what happens, so of course he's not going to be as menacing as he is in the comics wherein he's pretty much invincible.
  • PLOT HOLE: As Ultron is trying to extract Vibranium from Ulysses Klaue (that's his name here), he gets interrupted by a swift appearance of the Avengers. They end up destroying the Ultron chassis present at the scene and though the Avengers are briefly side-tracked during this conflict, one can assume that they wrapped up loose ends here while Iron Man has to round up a rampaging Hulk. The hole here is this: how the fuck does Ultron manage to get the Vibranium he needed to assemble his doomsday device? Said doomsday device consisted of a huge (think long) column of vibranium holding up an entire city way up in the air. That's a lot of vibranium that he, based on what we see in the movie, never attains.
  • Based on word of god, we're not getting an extended cut that would, you know, work to correct at least some of the slights seen in the final product.
  • Did you know that Joss Whedon considers this to be a good product? That it's exactly what he wanted it to be? Yeah, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, Whedon. You're clearly too creatively fatigued for the MCU at this point and I welcome the Russo brothers for any future instalment with which they're involved.
  • Should have been split into two parts: part one would have been to set up the events to transpire and be rectified in the second part (as well as establishing character developments and properly introducing and developing new characters), while the second part would see the important action and the inevitable climax to the storyline. Everything would have been developed better than what was seen in the final product.
  • A Carol Danvers (a.k.a, Ms. Marvel) and a Spider-Man appearance were cut. The latter is understandable though, given that the landmark deal between Sony & Disney didn't come to fruition until just shy of the release of the movie. But Ms. Marve/Captain Marvel was part of the early drafts of the film.
  • We're not going to find out who that mystery woman briefly glimpsed in one of the trailers is. Sorry guys. At least not in this messy film.
  • I still enjoyed the film.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Jurassic World review (2015, Action/Adventure/Science Fiction/Horror, Universal Pictures)


Life found a way.

The 1992 original was an accomplishment of film-making for the ages, to be written into history books. It set new standards, kicked dinosaur popularity into high-gear, and even brought some (long since obsolete) innovations to paleontology itself. Just those three achievements alone made the original a very difficult feat to replicate, let alone top off with a sequel. 

To speak of sequels means I should quickly spell out why both of them were not quite worthy of their production; The Lost World lost damn near all the sense of charm & wonderment, while III appeared more like a cash-grab than a legitimate attempt to keep fanning the flames first lit in 1992. The first sequel saw Ian Malcolm go to Site B to collect his girlfriend from certain (and definitely inevitable, given the character's weaknesses) demise although all sense of chaos and desperation was lost. The third film made sure to shoe-horn Dr. Grant for lip service, and to be the one sane guy in a jaunt amongst understandably pissed monsters. But that's in the past.

And this movie is kind of stuck in it.

Our subject, Jurassic World, was stuck in development hell for 10 long years. Colin Trevorrow, the director of the final product, wasn't always helmed in the role. Nor were Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing & Chris Pratt as Owen Grady originally slated to appear as characters. And the I.Rex was not originally intended to be the dino villain. But, that's what we ended up getting here and it's not to the film's detriment, but there's something amiss in the film that is. It's a particular feeling of...been there, done that.

This nigh $1 billion grossing, record-setting film doesn't do anything new for the franchise, and the little, few things it does that are new for the series are, of course, of little consequence. Nonetheless, these are neat new grounds to tread; the genetic mish-mash abomination in the Indominus Rex (casually referred to as the "I.Rex"), and Owen Grady's trainer/lion dynamic with the film's velociraptors. The former serves as the film's primary villain and displays a staggering degree of cognitive understanding & adaptive intellect, whilst the latter is a Chekov's gun.

The 1993 original film was lauded as a landmark achievement in special effects, thanks to the skills on hand at Industrial Light & Magic. Twenty-two years later and Jurassic World doesn't really up the ante at all, which is a shame, but it doesn't mean it is a step down. The Mosasaur is one of the more impressive feats to be seen in the film's run, and practical effects weren't completely bereft of their grandiosity and relevance. There was a gaffe that could have been corrected in the editing stage, however: an avian dinosaur can be seen clipping through the aviary in a blink & you'll miss it moment.

Otherwise, the film retreads much of the same ground previously trodden in the franchise  ̶   two children directly tied to park manager/owner find themselves in peril, something goes wrong in the park's defenses and all hell breaks loose, a dinosaur (or in this case, dinosaurs) save the day from the big bad Dino, and even character archetypes return. While repeating old tropes isn't in itself a bad thing, it's the stunning fact that the movie does nothing to stand out from the franchise that is.

Why is that inexcusable? Well, it's because of the previously mentioned development time, as more could have been done with the final release. Ten years could have, should have produced a superior flick. It could have truly surprised moviegoers and fans alike, but alas, it didn't do that for me. It paid too much lip-service to the previous films, especially the first, and did almost nothing to set itself apart.

It is a genuine thrill-ride, however. Damn near every scene with the I.Rex in it will see chaos and death ensue in the process, and the raptors are as nasty as ever. A new dinosaur to the films, the Mosasaur, makes a welcome entry into the fray and serves as an important plot device. The pteranodons have become menacing and are used by the villainous I.Rex to sow disarray and bloodshed. Bryce Dallas Howard manages to brave Isla Nublar in its entirety whilst wearing high heels for fuck's sake. And Star-Lord is the god damned alpha of a pack of raptors rather than the leader of galactic misfits. There can't be anything in this movie you'd say you didn't like no matter how stupid they were.

But there's plenty that you may not like at all. There are plot-holes left unexplained, there are leaps & outright debasements of logic, and then there's the fact that it took ten god damn years for moviegoers, whether they're fans or not, to get this rather mediocre installment. Owen Grady and, uh, Bryce Dallas Howard apparently have chemistry that we're supposed to believe is genuine. Yet, people probably paid more attention to Owen Grady being a headstrong badass who is a composite of Dr. Grant & Dr. Malcolm from the original film. The kids do evoke a sense of actual sibling chemistry, but it doesn't go anywhere in this film because it wasn't made to be a drama. At the same time, however, the older brother is a dick to the younger brother and really, these kids received so little development in comparison to those in the original movie so why should anyone really care? The woman who plays the assistant tasked with looking after them goes through what may be the biggest "kick the dog" moment in the franchise (a merit, albeit a kind of sad one, for the film indeed). And a few rather dull scenes involving the kids' parents, in the midst of a divorce (it is why the kids were sent off to Isla Nublar), add timid, rather pointless drama to a film that would rather be having fun.

Somehow, some cliche sci-fi villain dude thinks that raptors would make great replacements for highly-trained field infantry in the game of war. Somehow Owen gets his hands on the chunk of flesh  that the I.Rex ripped out of its own body in spite of the fact that Owen was nowhere near where the I.Rex did it. Somehow someone thought it was a good idea to go inside of the I.Rex's pen despite the lack of intel on where the fucking thing actually is. Somehow the park's owner has no idea what actually went into the I.Rex's design until the movie demands the 'shocking' revelation. Somehow the I.Rex catches up with Owen & Dearing when they're investigating the old park visitor center (well after the boys had left) even though it had been stated multiple times before that the I.Rex was on a direct course to the park proper. Somehow the boys are able to fix a 22 year old Jeep by replacing the battery for it, and the damn thing runs as if it were fresh out of the auto-shop. Somehow none of the idiots thought to trigger the shock collar technology they have on each dinosaur when there's a whole flock of avian dinos closing in on the park's visitors. Somehow Claire Dearing pulls off the entire flick walking/running around in high god damn heels, and even manages to outrun ol' Rexy wearing those fucking things. Somehow, and this is for last, why did someone think that the raptors (in spite of their clandestine status on the island and being feared so much because of previous movies) should be made all over again?

Oh and product placement. Holy fucking shit, guys.

And it really does have fun. But very little of the fun in the movie is original fun. I must re-iterate: this film took 10 god damn years to make. It was stuck in development hell for most of that duration, but there's little excuse to get a movie that hardly stands out on its own in a franchise that, in spite of its raw earning power, hasn't critically pleased anyone in over 20 years. At least it's guaranteed that a sequel will be ordered, but will they at least try to do something interesting with it?

                                                                             

C


The Good: 

+ Chris Pr--Star-Lord, leading a pack of (scientifically inaccurate) velociraptors. Stupid, but fun.
+ They didn't discard any all practical effects
+ Final battle is nonsensical but it is fun nonsense. 
+ The Mosasaur is a welcome addition to the bestiary.
+ A tad bit of tension can be felt in the scene where our hero has to investigate the I.Rex's compound.
+ That scene where the assistant gets chomped on by the Mosasaur. That scene.
+ It's another Jurassic Park movie. Only the first one truly stands the test of time (the rest are... serviceable at best).

The Bad: 

- In many ways this is a re-tread of the first film. Only that movie had a superior director, character development, tension, and Jeff Goldblum.
- It's PG-13.
- The special effects gaffe mentioned previously produces unintended chuckles.
- Somehow the boys manage to "fix" a vehicle that was left unattended with zero maintenance for twenty years running as if it were brand new. Keep in mind that the setting is tropical, and goes through hurricanes at least once a year. Also, one of the night vision goggles seen briefly in the original film, in spite of running on battery power, still works. Ever heard of battery drain? What about leakage?
- Hoskins is a very weak character with vaguely implied ties into the massacre in the park.
- Predictable plot that gets more predictable with the more shoutouts to previous films that you can literally rattle off by the minute.
- What kind of park and its owners doesn't understand what their most ferocious dinosaur is made from?
- A few forced lines of comedy.
- The CGI is on overload in comparison to the original movie, which used it sparingly. And to top it all off it hasn't even grown all that much better in quality since 22 years ago.
- Owen is a total jackass to Claire
- Claire is a total airhead and is not fit to manage a park with giant killer animals that should have been left extinct in the first place.
- Nowhere near as suspenseful as the original movie.
- A leap in logic regarding how the raptors behave in the movie.
- The fight at the end, in spite of its entertainment value, very likely wouldn't have happened if the film didn't predictably call for the action contained within.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   EDIT: Wanted to update some of the body of the review to coincide with my vwawdd                                                                                                                                                            

Monday, April 27, 2015

Terroja Kincaid, You Officially Suck at Men's Rights Advocacy

Roughly two weeks ago, TJ/TheAmazingAtheist made yet another contribution to the insufferable yet laughable Anita Sarkeesian hate machine, entitled "ANITA SARKEESIAN, YOU OFFICIALLY SUCK AT FEMINISM." It need not be mentioned with much depth that all of the mansplaining and hatred that has been fired in her direction for the past three years has had an ironic effect rather than an intended one, but TJ's video adds to this cesspool of ignorance.

Below is the video in question:


The context of the video (The Scythian - Positive Female Characters in Video Games) to which TJ was responding was flat-out diminished in TJ's response to it, not that I find that surprising. If you actually watch her video, then you'll see that she does admit early on that the character is, personality-wise, a blank-slate. However, in the realm of video games, even in Zelda-inspired adventure games as seen in Anita's video, this is pretty much the norm. Often, in fact, player-characters are given a blank template in order to facilitate a flight of fancy in the player. Or in other words, this method allows players to insert themselves into the action. Well, some of the time it works, but I digress.

What TJ didn't tell you, like he almost always does, is that Anita's argument as to why the player character in that game is a positive female character is because in-universe, she is not discerned by her gender, but by her acts, and ultimately, her heroism. The gender neutral treatment of the character from others around her, and the fact that the character defies all odds stacked against her to save the land, is what earns Anita's praise. I have in fact seen Anita's video for myself and quite frankly, it was surprisingly unassuming and rather tame. As for why, or how for that matter, it triggered such a hilariously over-the-top response from TJ is not surprising given his recent contributions to the internet. But I guess you could say that this is just another nail in the #GamerGate coffin, one more among many.

Our hero fixates dubiously on the character's lack of personality when, on the other hand, it's her gender neutral treatment in-game that is most important in Sarkeesian's video. In fact, the Scythian's lack of personality is not even an important detail. By making a video that echoes the arguments that other Gamergaters/MRAs have made in equally (or moreso) stupendous videos, TJ has solidly cemented his place in the MRA/GamerGate echo-chamber. Said echo-chamber, in fact, has yet to demonstrably prove Anita false, nor produce content that reasonably debunks her arguments. Instead people have to watch idiots like TJ take her out of context, ignore entire parts of her videos/tweets, and whether inadvertently or not sic their tone-deaf subscribers onto her, thus continuing the vicious cycle that has both harmed and helped Anita.

He has proven in his video that he doesn't actually care about what Anita says in her video, or anywhere else for that matter, so there's no point in paying heed to his screeds about her. Not yet, anyway, because like all the others, he really has nothing to use against her but to resort to dishonest tactics like that seen in his response. It's funny though that in doing this, he hurt his side of the argument WHILE ALSO proving Sarkeesian's points about (typically male-derived, but there are females who do it too) treatment of females in our culture correct; condescension and belittling, two attitudes often exhibited toward women, are very real to this day. And they are both rampant in his video. Meanwhile, he failed to address her actual arguments in his response to her. Oh the unintentional comedy of it all.

All of that aside, I will poke at one of TJ's more ironic, hypocritical arguments, which is a strawman of epic proportions to say the least. The strawman in his video was his jab at Anita's puzzling inefficiency to deliver on all of the scheduled videos outlined in the infamous crowdfunding page all the way back in 2012. So far she has produced three of them, and there are eleven of them slated for production. While it may be telling, in some ways anyway, that her progress has been lacking on this project, I don't think TJ is the one who should be commenting on this at all. Why, you may ask?

It's because of NotProductive.

An embarrassing chapter for sure, NotProductive was supposed to be TJ's answer to ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, a site from which he was given the boot prior to his pitch for the project. With a target of $20,000, and an ultimate conclusion of $17,287 donated by various bleeding hearts & blind fanboys, one had to ask of it all: why? To get into details as to why everything about the project was fishy would require a dedicated blog post, so I won't bother with much more than that. From before the site's actual development was announced, I knew something wasn't right.

A year had passed before the site managed to launch, because the development cycle was mired in a lack of confidence (even if TJ worded himself otherwise) and a stunning lack of transparency, amidst setback after setback, a switch in developers included in it all. When it finally went online, the result was mixed, at best. An ugly, uncompressed background picture; sub-par (and probably cheap) webhost; disorderly arrangement of channels AND categories; in-your-face google ads; and blatant shortcuts like external hosting for comments for one. On top of that all, the fact that the videos were hosted externally on YouTube meant that everything could be watched through there, so the site as it was served little use to most people. Another deception was the "less editorial meddling" line, which is priceless because it contradicted the god damn mission statement for the site. Oh and there was a contest present when the site started, but who the hell knows what really came of it since the site crashed and burned.

When you look at it today, you see that NP is a boring YouTube channel which TJ seems to wish would be swept under the rug to never be heard of again. That or he simply doesn't promote it anymore because it is about as irrelevant a channel as you can get. The fact that the vLoggers involved were already at least marginally successful (with one of them even having two-hundred thousand plus subscribers) prior to NotProductive's launch, meant that he was a bit hyperbolic with the "people you've not heard of" line as seen in his sales pitch video below:


I'll give TJ this, however; Anita has indeed been slow, for whatever reason(s), but given his own history he really isn't in a position to give her shit over her own failings. Contrarily, at least she is more honest about her project, and hasn't thrown it under the rug like he has. He's failed to produce anything substantive with all of that handout money, and while she's taking her sweet time doing so, at least she's continuing to produce content that was outlined on the crowdfunding page for "Tropes Vs. Women." Also, she asked for a mere $6,000 on her Kickstarter campaign, but because of the army of idiots giving her a bad rap, she drummed up a lot of attention that afforded her nearly $160,000, which is nearly thirty times greater than the asking. 

Perhaps he could ask himself the following: "Why do I keep giving Anita the attention that has benefited her so well so far?" Better yet, maybe the Gamergaters and MRAssholes who are so obsessed with her as to constantly draw attention to her should take this kind of advice. Or maybe they can keep it up so that people can laugh at their expense.

And TJ needs to learn how to actually argue with people with whom he disagrees. Because clearly from this video, he's not only dishonest about it, but he's not very good at it. Age has dumbed him down, evidently.



Edited: Fixed a few typos.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

F.E.A.R. 3 (PS3, Xbox 360, PC, 2011, Day 1 Studios/Warner Bros. Interactive)


What do you F.E.A.R.?

Well, no really, what do you fear? Suffice to say, you won't come to feel much of any in this installment. While it was hyped for John Carpenter's involvement in directing the cinematic department, the game didn't really deliver anything astounding, story OR plotwise. This franchise has always been a horror-FPS one, and while it achieved some level of success in that vein, this is definitely the lowest point. Carpenter might as well have not even been involved at all because it made no difference.

One of the problems that has always set the franchise back, as far as horror goes, is the mute protagonist cliche present in every last one of them. And in the one game where the story is hyped the most, and pretty much falls flat in the end, it should have been a no-brainer: give the Point Man some god damn personality and maybe you'll get some tension, dramatic and all. I know they have explained why, although in a cryptic fashion that may have very well eluded you so far in the series, but it's an excuse to "make you feel like your own action hero." Only the Half-Life series does anything right with the mute protagonist trope, and even lampshades it. I know this may seem like a run-on point, but when your secondary playable character does have a personality as you play, it becomes so jarring as to hurt the game, significantly.

A common criticism of this installment is the overall lack of horror, and that's certainly the case. It's hard to feel that when all of its horror tropes have been done before in the series, and better at that. It's hard to feel scared when you're such a power-house, plowing through all that stand before you. It's hard to feel scared when the atmospheric moments come so rarely, and for all but the final section of the game, there's no subtlety and mind-fuckery. And most of all, it's hard to feel ANY horror brilliance when the UI in this game blatantly tells you that you have unlocked something.

I don't know what Day 1 was thinking with the UI in this game. It's not the HUD or the menus that are problematic, but the score system that flat-out kills most of the horror aspects of the game because they're so in-your-face. If you kill enough enemies with a weapon the game will tell you that you've earned points; if you establish a "psychic link" with a random corpse in a level, it tells you that you've earned points; if you are in a section that would otherwise grant some degree of tension and you do just about anything, you are likely to earn points. All of this is shown in bright, vivid colours in an arcade-like presentation. At times this is what the game felt like, actually. That's not what the series is about and Day 1 really dropped the ball here. Subtlety is one of the key methods of achieving a horror vibe, and this entire feature eviscerates that.

It's not all thorns and ugly ducklings, though; the controls are some of the best in the series, which has so far never had them down-pat for some odd reason. Gunplay is also on par with the first game (since the second game not only simplified that aspect for no discernible reason, but toned down the "oomph" factor that the first game had) in many regards. The AI won't stand out in your playthrough, but they're loaded for bear and on higher difficulties will present a challenge. The Point-Man more-or-less finally seems like a real super soldier, since he was conceived as one in the first place. When you play as Paxton Fettel you are presented with body-hopping and psychic "slam" abilities, opening up for tactical options. The graphics in this title, while a little behind in the times, are the best in the series yet. And some of the multiplayer modes, while absolutely devoid of activity today, are unique and interesting, such as "Fucking Run!" and the game's own take on the survival craze seen in Call Of Duty & others as of late.

You'd be better off experiencing the game from the perspective of Paxton Fettel, at least to experience the unique, well somewhat unique at least, gameplay that he presents. But that's not to be had until you beat the game as the mute, dull, and at best sufficient Point Man. The problem with this requirement is that you'll come to realize that the storyline is pretty much dead on arrival. Like, somehow, you come across Jin midway through the game, who was a supporting character in the first game, only to lose all contact with her for no real reason. It all feels a bit disconnected from the previous game with only a few nods to it at all. For one, Sergeant Beckett (the player character from the second game) is shoe-horned in and, somehow, his sacrificial-lamb status in the plot leads our heroes to...their childhood memories? Alma's role is damn near minimal in the storyline, replaced mostly by the irritating (but at least challenging, finally) Creep, who is implied to be the spirit of Harlan Wade, the man who was responsible for everything in the series.

The two brothers are still at odds with each other, but have to work together to achieve their respective goals. Paxton wants to reunite with their mother and usher in a new age, or something, but the Point Man is driven solely to carry out the objective he was assigned all the way back in the first game. Rowdy Betters, the handler for First Encounter Assault Recon (which is a team of paranormal special ops, or something), is nowhere to be found and the token black guy from the first game is nowhere to be found, either (and no, "Extraction Point" is not considered canon). Inexplicably, or at least it's cryptic as to why, the Replica army is still standing strong AND now fully controlled by Armacham. Alma doesn't mess with the player anymore because she's in her birth pangs, and somehow before the opening level the Point Man got captured by Armacham for reasons unclear.

Anyway, the story is paranormal but mediocre, and doesn't hit any high notes. At least, not until you've finished the game and you're treated to a ridiculously awesome video of Paxton's first "synchronicity event", where people basically burst like watermelons (from the inside, mind you) while trying to sedate him during one of his breakdowns. Throughout the game you see snippets that lead up to that scene, but story-wise, the aforementioned scene is a treat for any who would find the mythos of the series at all interesting. One of the means of gaining new insight into the series' story came from "Intel" items, which after finding them in the game world, gave you some reading material describing the lore, basically. This game doesn't have that feature, which is a little off-putting for me, personally.

Enough about the story, let's get on with talking about the gameplay. Well, control-wise, it is the smoothest of the series so far. Your character moves much more fluidly than at any point in the franchise, with spot-on reaction times, and a sprint that actually resembles one. One of the off-putting features introduced in the second game was the sprint function, which was more akin to a jog, that only allowed for a two-second jaunt for evasion purposes. You also couldn't pivot or change direction while sprinting, so it was very awkward. That's not the case here. Also, cover mechanics work just fine, requiring appropriate swings of the mouse to situate your aim where you want it. You have a more capable melee attack as well, allowing you to chain swipes and stabs which can save you some precious ammo.

The guns, while somewhat lacklustre in design (they're quite generic, until you get to the experimental weapons later on), serve their purposes. The pistol has just the right recoil, deals the right amount of damage, is properly accurate, and coupled with ADS, is an effective side-arm throughout the entire game. The shotgun is king again; it sounds good, packs a huge punch as it did in the first game, and ammunition is not as scarce as in the second title. The devastator returns just as badass as ever, and there's a lightning gun which, while definitely not an original idea, works in this game's favour for delivering swift death to the evil that stands in your way. You can't lay traps anymore, so there's fewer tactical options at your disposal. Oh and, you spill a LOT of blood in the goings ahead.

Some new enemies come to challenge you. There are a bunch of raving nutjobs that occupy the inner city, called "cultists", which have been warped not only emotionally, but physically by Alma's widespread influences. There are also a few instances where you fight ATC bosses who have a phasing ability as well as high amounts of armor, who also summon basic grunts to keep you distracted. Snipers, which were a thorn in your side in F.E.A.R. 2, are nowhere to be found, which is both a blessing and a hint as to how much easier this game really is (not entirely for the better). Alma's powers have always generated monstrous apparitions, and this time we come up against "Scavengers", born out of the memories of Alma's time locked up in the vault. And you sometimes encounter ghastly "spectres", which possess similar abilities to Paxton Fettel.

Through the arcade-like features noticeable in the rewards system, you gain a slew of perks accessible both in single and online gameplay. They typically consist of increasing how long you can use Slow-Mo, how long Paxton can possess enemies, the amount of ammunition you can carry for weaponry, your total health, and regeneration time. However, this system, as described earlier, will likely ruin the immersion and you might come to dislike it a lot, even if it amounts to improving your character's abilities. The developers couldn't have chosen a more intrusive, horror-killing experience system if they tried, so this is definitely a negative aspect of the game in spite of its positive ramifications.

It's also far too easy for my liking, even on hard difficulties. Yes, enemies will kill you quickly in the hardest level, but you don't have to manage any of your resources, aside from how many rounds you use in your quest (as per usual, anyway). All other games in the series had medkits, and you increased your total health & slow-mo time with often hidden boosts for each; that's not the case here because your character, while it makes a little bit of sense in context (you play as a supersoldier & a ghost, respectively), has regenerating health. It doesn't make you unstoppable but it still makes the firefights more tedious than challenging, since you don't have to worry about your ability, or lack thereof, to restore lost health. The only challenge may come from the Creep itself, and because of said monster, he becomes pretty much the only final boss the series has featured so far.

To summarize, F3AR doesn't do everything right, and it really doesn't bring anything all that new to the formula. The horror aspect is at an all-time low, it's far easier than any game before it, and it resembles Call Of Duty a bit more than it should. What few positives it has in its favour is that the controls are better than ever, guns are actually fun to use again (anything that isn't an assault rifle or sub-machinegun anyway), and there's some distinct multiplayer fun to be had even if no one really plays it anymore. John Carpenter may have had a directorial hand in the game's story, but it didn't make a difference as per its quality.

The Rundown:


Positives

+ Smooth, fluid controls and character movement.
+ Playing as Paxton Fettel opens up new ways to play through the game story.
+ Weapons (mostly) feel good to shoot again.
+ The sprint function actually resembles a sprint rather than a lethargic, two-second jog.
+ Can actually challenge you at times.
+ Some standout multiplayer modes.
+ Graphically decent, but nothing earth-shattering.
+ The perk system sees steady growth of your character over time.

Negatives

- No one plays multiplayer anymore.
- That GOD AWFUL reward system UI
- Much too short a campaign for a F.E.A.R. title
- No intel items, which previously provided reading material in older games.
- Regenerating health, although you can make excuses for it (you're playing as a supersoldier and a specter, basically)
- Alma takes a backseat in the story, with none of the menace she exhibited. This goes against one of the hyped promises of the game's story.
- Not scary at all, unless you're the most timid motherfucker around
- Sgt. Beckett, the playable character from the second title, unceremoniously dies to serve as a plot forwarding device.
- There are a number of plot holes present. One being the fact that you begin the game in some nondescript, dilapidated prison in fuckknowswhere? How the fuck did the Point Man end up there? Why is he there, beyond the fact that he is, just before you start playing, under custody of ATC goons? Just where the fuck is this place in relation to Fairport, the same location where all the shit was hitting the fan to begin with?
- The perk system is delivered by the shitty, intrusive UI mentioned previously. And eventually you get every perk in the game and realize that you couldn't be arsed to play anymore.

C-

Monday, February 2, 2015

Tomb Raider Review (PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One, PC, Mac, 2013, Crystal Dynamics/Square Enix/Eidos Interactive/Feral Interactive)


Look at that headline. Oh and spoilers are ahead.

And forget about it, because survival is hardly the point of the game at all. You know what it really is? It's to get off the island with a sordid history with your guns blazing. If you have to route hundreds of desperate lunatics loaded for bear on the way to your escape, then so be it. Oh and, since Lara is conveniently an archaeology student, you'll find some artifacts in your journey. But that's really not the point of this entry in the series.

Not at all.

Already we're off to a great start with this review. And it's not to foreshadow a negative one, really, it is just a means of venting some of my frustrations with this game. I've been a fan of this series since the first game, and short of the Crystal Dynamics titles (which left fans divided), I've played them all. They certainly did suffer from sequelitis given that each title was released year after year, but you always got an all-new story and a whole slew of new challenges to come with them. Yes, they didn't all have tombs, and arguably the best entry in the series, the third game, didn't even have any, but if you're going to include tombs then at least make them worth your while. Also, the point of the old games wasn't to kill everything in sight over and over again, it was to explore obscure areas to obtain an artifact of great power. 

The essence of the series is virtually gone in this title. How so, you may ask?

There are tombs, sure, but they were most likely an afterthought. Each one follows the same exact formula: go through a brief walk wherein you can't draw any weapons (for whatever reason, given that nothing happens each time) and you hold a source of light, come across some kind of chamber with a puzzle (I previously used the plural, which is inaccurate), then solve the puzzle to access a chest full of...XP. I'm not kidding, all you get is XP when you beat these admittedly piss-easy 'tombs'. With almost no exception are there are pitfalls or traps to overcome in this game's tombs, so what the fuck is the point of including them at all when you just get some experience points out of them and nothing actually interesting, like artifacts?

Oh and, if you're a glutton for the saturated shooter market, then you'll love this title. In spite of the mysterious traits of the island, where you apparently cannot leave due to some magical forces, you're too busy gunning down hundreds of boring mooks through almost the entire game. They are nutty, desperate, and are effectively a small army. This game was compared quite often to Far Cry 3, and given some of the features shared between the two games, it's kind of apt. On another front, you'll think that this was a Michael Bay production, because explosions occur often inexplicably as if there are barrels of petroleum everywhere. Oh and there's a lot of blood; a hell of a lot. Even a god damn creek consists of seemingly none other than blood. And Lara swims through it.

And spills it a lot, too.

Lots of detractors of the series would complain about the old Lara's ridiculous chest proportions, calling it a sexist portrayal of women (they'd be about half-right). Where are those some detractors in regard to this game, where she becomes a gung-ho mass slaughterer with mood swings? First she was an oversexed but cold anti-hero, and now she's a blood knight on a killing spree. Poor Lara will never be a proper role model at this rate.

So another thing I'd like to complain about is the nature of the game world. It seems open world, and it kind of is in some regards. One way is that it allows you to travel from one save spot to another upon their discovery. Also, each major location has a number of collectibles and minor sub-quests to endure, requiring very little thought to complete. However, that's really where this aspect ends and where the sheer linearity, deceptively hidden from the casual player at that, becomes obvious. You're only allowed to explore so much before you're rendered unable to go where you feel like. This game relies on context-sensitive controls, such as Lara hoisting herself onto the top of ledges and grabbing onto the sides of cliffs to climb them. You can only do those actions, among others, wherever the developers wanted you to go. Because if you could go where you wanted to then the game's flaws would start to become readily apparent to you. That's what I assume, anyway.

I must say, though, that this game is fucking gorgeous. It may not possess the most striking level of detail seen in gaming, even for its release year, but it's definitely well designed. The single best looking aspect of the game is Lara herself, who looks so human that I thought I was dreaming. The sheer amount of work that went into her design, from her skin to the way dirt & blood smears her person, and then how the lighting and shadows bring out the best and the worst in her, is absolutely impressive. You won't leave all that impressed by anything else but when you're near the coastal areas of the island, you'll see some spectacular, yet chaotic vistas that are appropriate given the theme of the game.

In spite of my knocking of the excessive action sequences, they are not without a strength or two. If you dig this kind of non-stop action then this game won't disappoint. And it can get a little tense at times, which is always welcome. However, there's just not much depth to any of them because you don't have to worry about much in the face of battle. In the old games, you had non-regenerating health and had limited means of healing; here, you have much less health but it regenerates quickly if you hide, like almost all action games seem to do these days. 

Let's develop on that last bit there. One thing this game is missing from the old titles is an inventory system; it is non-existent here. Gone are the days of managing your limited resources, and cherishing each pickup that you'd find in the Tomb Raider games of yore. Here, you pick up so much ammo so often, and are given new weapons so easily that you really don't come to care much about any of them. They're simply a way of quickly neutralizing all the bad guys you face constantly. You can also use your ice pick to brutally kill foes from a short range. Oh and as mentioned above, don't worry about health kits, because if you're hurt then all you need to do is hide for a moment or two to heal. As a consequence of the lack of inventory, there are no meaningful secrets to discover, no hidden rewards for actually exploring the environment.

If anything else, the battles become tedious because there's no depth to beating them except for making sure she doesn't die. If you can aim your gun and pull the trigger, then that's really all there is to it. Sure, the old games weren't much better than this, but you had to account for your vulnerabilities as well. When you're close to death, the game grays out, so it's hard to die at all. Enemies are not strategically placed, and don't poise a challenge, but rather act as props to shoot at. They do take cover, and may have various abilities/equipment that will add variety to each encounter, but the old games had this too, in spades

Lara does control well, though. She's also well animated, given that there is motion capture at work. But she responds to your actions accordingly and with fluidity, which is a good touch.

In the games of old, Lara often keeled over and died; it was uncommon for her death to play out differently, unless she of course landed on spikes. In this game, however, her deaths are cruel and gruesome. She's even subjected to a near-fatal beatdown by two of the nutbars you have to kill in the game, and much earlier she's threatened with rape. At the get-go, Lara gets impaled and set on fire. Fail to match the on-screen prompts right and she'll get crushed beneath tonnes of rock, impaled on re-bar, get impaled through the head, and many other things. She endures multiple injuries throughout the course of the plot. This game is brutal as far as violence goes, because you can put your enemies through hell too, including jabbing an axe into your enemies' jugulars. It's a wonder none of the detractors towards the second and third Tomb Raider games were screaming bloody murder in regards to this one.

There are a lot of set pieces to go through in this game, so you'll have to come to live with it. Most of the time these set pieces are playable, to an extent, but where the old games would leave it completely up to you to overcome the challenges, this game just sends buttons prompts your way that are more trial & error based than skill-based. Also, reports from players of earlier versions of the PC port cited the inability to correctly complete some or all quick-time events, due to a few bugs. They're also highly numerous, often in excess, and it's a common criticism that must be emphasized. If you can't stand QTEs, then you're going to be annoyed to all hell when you play through this game.

After playing through the game completely the first time, I noticed a few game design choices that I would like to call 'condescending'. The aforementioned QTEs, which comes in such a quantity as to feed Africa were it a food source, are one of those things. Another condescending game design comes in the form of the Survival Instinct feature, that which can be abused as needed by the player. It highlights all interactive objects/items/terrain in your immediate vicinity, and even shows pillars of light for far away places of interest such as checkpoints. As indicated, it can be used ad nauseum; there is no limit as to how long or how often you can use it. So if you just want to plow through a "puzzle" section, of which there are few that are worth critical thought, just press the button to execute the Survival Instinct ability and have your hand held.

Another condescending game design is in how little the game expects you to master. Want to traverse a narrow length of wood requiring intense focus and balancing? Just jump at it and Lara clings to it, never at risk of falling off unless a cutscene demands it. Want to even try exploring your surroundings beyond the small hub sections? The game will outright refuse to acknowledge what you're doing as you plummet to your death. Want to learn on your own how to perform, and thus improve, the abilities you learn over the course of the game? Well fuck you, says Crystal Dynamics, because we're going to tell you how to do everything new and leave nothing to the imagination.

So let's get down to the story: Lara and a group of friends are on an expedition near Japan, and they get shipwrecked near an island. It becomes immediately apparent that previous ships have met the same fate, so something does seem off. Lara is separated from her group and has to find them whilst avoiding a number of pitfalls. As she gets further into the island, it is clear that a bunch of crazies inhabit the island. Soon after meeting up with the gang, they set out to escape from the island. Yet some force is preventing their exodus, and they have to deal with the army of crazy assholes with guns and all that.

That's pretty much the gist of the story. A rescue plane gets struck by lightning and crashes; there's ritual sacrifice to appease some spirit; an army of undead samurai sets their sights on Lara, and other crap. It's not terrible but it doesn't do anything remotely intriguing with its premise. In actuality, it is an excuse to kill more and more bad guys. After all, the focus of the game is not on the adventure & hunting of artifacts, but of trying to get off of the island and shooting everything in your way.

There's nothing wrong with innovation, of taking an old formula further than ever before. But this game took steps backward, and not forward. Somehow Crystal Dynamics took a series that had an identity of its own into territory that renders it generic & trite. Fantastic visuals and sometimes thrilling action sequences can't save this game from earning much of my displeasure. It may be somewhat unfair to compare it so heavily to previous entries in the franchise, but how could you fault me for doing so when I consider it one of my favorite game series of all time? 

The Rundown:


Positives 

+ Some of the best visuals you'll experience out of 2013
+ It is very story-driven, so if you're into that, then this will deliver.
+ To expand on the above, Lara Croft looks stunningly real. The detail on her is borderline crazy.
+ Has a few legitimately thrilling action sequences.
+ There is a tiny bit of exploration to do, so it's not a straight-up linear game.
+ Lara gets a lot of focus, and has a bit of character development too, which was admittedly in short supply in older games.
+ It does have tombs, but...

Negatives

- Why have tombs when you won't do anything exciting or challenging with them? It's pretty much pointless. Solve a simple puzzle, avoid no traps or pitfalls, and open up a chest at the end that rewards experience points. Rinse & repeat. Screw that shit.
- Way too many QTEs for my liking, and they're too finicky, so they often end up killing the player character because of somewhat shoddy programming.
- The story is kind of dull. Doesn't help that it takes a big backseat to the actual gameplay.
- No inventory or any kind of item management.
- Sometimes resembles a Michael Bay flick with the constant explosions.
- No survival gameplay to speak of, despite the "a survivor is born" tagline.
- Takes several steps backward and ends up being a generic third-person shooter with light adventure elements thrown in.
- Has one of the most condescending game mechanics ever programmed in the history of gaming: the survival instinct function, which highlights everything important in the game world. Say bye to actual exploration and/or honing of skills.
- None of the characters you deal with are intriguing and besides, this game is not about them, but about Lara. So why should we care?
- The undead samurai enemies you fight near the end are far easier to defeat than one would hope, so their eventual appearance in-game loses all menace.
- It's so violent and cynical yet I wonder why we, as gamers, are supposed to take all of it so seriously in spite of the series being heavily inspired by the Indiana Jones franchise.

C