Update from the Bear

Winter time is fast approaching, if it isn't here already. Lots of things happened in the last couple of months, and only a small portion of them are overtly positive.

On the first of November, I began life on my own. Mentally, it was not hard to cope with, at all mind you. The reason being for this is perhaps because I was quite willing to get myself out of Woodstock, and I will admit it for all of my life, that I do not regret that choice. It was not a bad choice at all, I must say, despite the hardships I've gone through in the last couple of months, especially this month. More on that below.

My roommate moved in a week prior to December. It took him that damn long enough to move in, eh? He had a job, too, but he had too many excuses up his sleeve to do anything about it until the day finally moved in. So far, he hasn't payed much on his part, not much at all. He gave me $100 the second week that he lived here, but I had to use it on food, getting around town on the bus, job interviews, etc. However, my roommate (whom I shall designate henceforth as "Mr. X") has a handful of quirks that I can't stand...to a degree. For one, he's a party animal. It's all he does it seems. This one quirk leads on to one that's more serious. He allows people to stay here after a party. Because of this, he's allowed another person to live here, but that doesn't include this person's friend temporarily crashing at the place. Temporary my ass, she's been living here since the beginning of the month, for free mind you. He had to violate my trust by allowing them to do so without consulting me first, which is a big mistake on his part because I am the 'boss' of the place, I pay most or all of the bills, and I didn't want a bunch of people living here. He's no right to do such things.

One thing that has ticked me off about my roommate is that he's become increasingly lazy over time, he could even be at his peak laziness now, mind you. He has only worked twice since he's lived here, and because of his neglect to show up to work, he got fired. He hasn't done much of any job searching, from what I could tell. More or less, he's been sitting on the couch all day, or playing on my computer when I'm not around or when he asks. I think the next time that I go to work (oh, I should have said earlier that I got a job. Job sucks, mind you :P), I will unplug my computer so that he can't use it, and bring the power cord with me :). Seriously, this is how irritated I am getting to this point. He's lucky that it is the time of holidays, because if it wasn't, then I would have had him leave a week ago.

So about all he does each and every day is stay home, sit on the couch, get drunk or eat the shittiest food that you can buy (or both), play games or watch drab television, and once in a while, he throws parties that really aren't parties, and more like a gathering of drunken/stoned (often both) retards who talk about the most boring shit my artificial ears have ever heard. Not to mention, they dirty up the house all the damn time, there's always something broken it seems, and they leave lights on (thus bringing up my electricity bill). To ice the cake, they complain about me requesting them to clean up their fucking mess before I go to work for 8 to 10 hours. Talk about being childish.

The two people that are living off of my bills for free (at the moment, this will change very soon) don't do much of anything themselves. In fact, I don't remember the last time they've gone outside for anything other than getting craptacular food from the new Sobey's. One of them is supposed to land a job so as to return to her home, but she hasn't done almost any of that to the best of my knowledge. In fact, just thinking about that, I am considering telling her to apply at a McDonald's, seeing as she's a high-school dropout and is lucky to get any job at all with that unfortunate development on her profile. The other one is also a high-school dropout, for perhaps better reasons (although there are hardly any competent reasons to fucking quit school, truthfully), but she hasn't applied at many more places as the last one. While she does help clean up around the house, and paid for those few weeks where she's lived under my roof, it isn't quite enough to remedy the fact that she's just as big a slob as the rest of them. She hardly cleans, to be honest, and even when she cleans, all of my roommate's friends, including her, dirty them up only hours after they're cleaned (I've seen these dishes after she's "cleaned" them, and her clean-job is pretty mediocre at best). I clean up as often as I can, seeing as I am busying myself these days, but I can't do it all. When I get home from work, and see a rat's nest like what the place is now, I get a bit upset. I'm doing all I can to snap them out of their lazy stupor, but they're so childish as to avoid taking any relative ounce of responsibility.

This will change though. I plan on giving him the metaphorical boot next month, because I am getting tired of him and his friends' shenanigans. At this rate, we're no better than bums, although I am the only one who is doing something to rid ourselves of that label. As time goes on though, I am only considering worrying about myself, because I am quite sure that my roommate will be out of here, for good and without any negotiation, sometime next month. He seems to forget that we have such a forgiving, patient, and astoundingly polite landlord, too. I had to put my dignity and outward compassion on the line for my roommate when dealing with our landlord, so it was indeed an uncomfortable thing to do. In fact, if we didn't have the landlord we have now, neither of us would be living here. I wouldn't be writing this at this very moment. This is how good he and I have this, but he does little or nothing to show a bit of appreciation for it. So, consequences will be made. He shouldn't require a wakeup call to get his ass back in gear.

However, I will have the house to myself over the holidays, so I am at least thankful for the holidays for that reason. Hopefully they actually clean up, rather than doing something half-assed about their blatant mess. My parents are coming down in a couple of days, so it's the least that my lazy prick of a roommate can do, seeing as he does nothing otherwise.

GB out.

American Psycho inspired Poem

 

Blissless Shell (inspired by American Psycho)

by Garrett “Grizzly” W.

Look past me, I am the hideous

You can't grasp my total lack of bliss

My body writhes silently, swiftly

My mind conjures wickedry like ecstasy

I am a cracked, hollow shell

I am your last sight before your trip to hell

You're heartless almost mindless

You're a tool – you're a fool

I am the cleanser, the defender

I am the scourge to everything for pleasure

My total lack of bliss

Accompanies your death kiss

I seek the not-so-meek

I laugh as I feel weak

Every week I feed or purge

Inspired murder – cannot resist the urge

You see me as that I am not

I always see you as one when you rot

Fierce competition, hatred fruitions

Better is my motto, it's my mission

Attaining such needs oft sadism

I should be the embodiment of Sadism

I despise me, you espouse me

For that I take you with glee

Instability, insanity, my very few abilities

Do not so much as to self-please

You hear me albeit with ignorance

Hence I destroy you in my blunt arrogance

My journey through my total lack of bliss

Should it be not so much as a miss?

Jesus (8 year olds, dude), I am good: "The Darkening Corrupter" poem

The Darkening Corrupter

by Garrett “Grizzly” W.

*Darkening corrupter

Taking forth the lover

Hatred spreads as butter

Only to continue a new day

Akin to your corrupter

A bliss-less form of slaughter

It leeches your pure power

To take it away in any way

The darkening corrupter

Bliss-less form of slaughter

Hateful, leeching corrupter

**Right Hand leads today

Any day

Any day

Any day

Any day

Corruption

Darkening corrupter

You're joyous, so laughed the martyr

Right Hand shall cripple the power

And sweep aside for pain

Kneel for your corrupter

As it plows your kin asunder

Our power it never falters

Right Hand leads today, every day

The darkening corrupter

Bliss-less form of slaughter

Hateful, leeching corrupter

Right Hand leads today

Any day

Any day

Any day

Any day

Corruption

Corrupter. Slaughterer. Power.

* Darkening Corrupter: A biological weapon employed by the group below
** The Right Hand (Right Hand as appears in poem): A pseudo-fanatical militia research group bent on tyrannical rule of Earth. Fictional. Will appear in a story of mine.

(Poem and it's contents are in reference to a story I am writing, and also, it's all mine, so don't be a douche and take it. After all, my blog is licensed for protection)

Property of me, Garrett Will

No Mercy!

At Ease! At Ease!

By our God we solemnly swear. At Ease!

Our enemy is at the last square

Police

No our war is not fair

Please

No mercy, we are the flare

No peace!

All hands! All hands!

Without stop we conquer the land. All hands!

One nation, one fight for our man

Man

We fight, knowing that we can

Clan

No stopping now, we shall own your hands

The plan!

March Forth! March Forth!

Lead the biblical raid. March Forth!

Stealing your goods for our maids

Worth

No stopping now, we'll bring the pain

Hurt

Onward march, our path is lain

March forth!

Poetic Escapades, dark ones too

Nexus Primoris: Crimson Tide

"I feel the tide, pride and true

We're here, the darkness, and so are you

The crimson tide, it will rise swift

As it bestows upon you a vast gift

Dead you are not; alive you are now

Accept, Nexus Primoris, or life you be without"

Nexus Primoris: Left Deceptive

“Dissect

Focus

Infect

Nexus

Axel

Nightly

Paid

Bluntly

Visit

Exit

Exist

Resist

Higher

Lower

Praise

Power

Exact

Destruct

Reenact

Product

Wise

Young

Devised

Wrung

Left Deceptive Ways Manipulative

Right Productive Days Destructive

Hand Power Land Conquer“

I wonder if any of you would know what the poems mean? Well, I won't spoil it for you so you can figure out for yourself.

Back and not wearing Black

I have returned to Moncton.

Well, I have been here for a couple of weeks now, almost, so it's actually been a while since I came back. However, that doesn't explain why I haven't been on the internet for the 12 days I have been here. I didn't have internet until today, basically. Such an unfortunate thing had, until today, been taking a toll on my sanity like living in Woodstock was. Here, however, I just had no way of talking to anybody without having to go to a pay phone, the closest of which is a few blocks away. I didn't mention that I had no phone either. I pretty much got all of my services: phone, internet, and digital TV in a package. You save money that way. Sometimes you sacrifice something to do that, but if you have to take the affordable approach, you should stick to a package plan.

I am not working yet. It would be hard to knowing that my services wouldn't get hooked up until today. My mother told me that I could have asked if it could be set up sooner, but I neither thought of that before nor do I think it would be reasonable for the company; Rogers. But that's fine now. It would have definitely helped to try and get the services hooked up sooner than today in terms of getting employment, but no one is able to change time these days in their favor, so it can't be changed. I have 18 days until the month ends, but I am hoping to get a job this week or early the next, or else if I get a job after that, I may make a very small amount of money.

That makes room for the domicile I live in. My stepdad John helped me get this place I live in by talking to a good friend and colleague about my situation. This same colleague, one Bob Carter, said that I could move in and have the place the same day, as most other places would need a day or two's notice, and my roommate-to-be will not have payed until a couple days later. Oh, on top of the roommate thing, he hasn't fucking moved in yet. It's ridiculous at how long he's held it off. He also owes money, and since it is a VERY reasonable amount that will leave him with well over a hundred dollars judging by his WEEKLY paycheck, he has no excuse to complain.

So there are two issues at hand now. One is that I need employment. Moncton is loaded with employment opportunities; that's something Woodstock had none of, or else the town had a pretty sloppy job market (I would like to say the former), I mean, if you can't even fucking work at Wal-Mart, you've got a problem there, mate! The other is the thing with my roommate. He hasn't even moved in yet, and he hasn't payed his part. It's the middle of the month, and all of the days he has taken off from work, he's done nothing to bring himself here. I am starting to think that either he isn't serious about this whole thing, or else he's a very unreliable roommate. I'm probably better off without him but I must wait this off only a while longer. I gave him a deadline to comply by, and if he doesn't, then the deal's off. I don't know what will happen after that, and I can probably expect a lot to happen. I am hoping that it works out.

Excitable Progression to Succession!

Good day, chaps. Another go at the ol' blogger from Garrett here.

I think I am set. I contacted my dad earlier and asked him to send me my inheritance money (from my Opa: meaning Grandfather in German, who is deceased from cancer as of 2 years). It should be in, as my dad says, by this Tuesday. I'll have perhaps 100 to 200 short of one thousand dollars with the money I currently have in my electronic pocket (bank account). Oh, happy, happy day. Let's have a toast for two or three (no more, I can't handle more than three drunkards at a time :P) for a cheery development in the world of independence!

Also, I did some searching through the Classifieds in the Times & Transcript and found about a dozen places that suit I and my room mate. Several of them were very appealing, and me and my room mate to be will most likely live in one of them (this is the best case scenario). We will need heating, so as to not become cryogenic specimens, but not as a separate payment, because that will literally kill us financially. That and, signing a lease or some other insidious contract deal is not a good idea for us either. My sister had to sign a lease for a place she lived in a while back and eventually it bit her in the ass, so there's a lesson learned in getting 'round.

I have to do some phone calling in the next few days. I will have to explain to my would-be landlord(s) that I will have a room mate and that him and I will be competent tenants who won't struggle to pay the rent on time or around the time of payment. That's of course palpable; you can't get into many places without assuring your landlord that you're not a financially ill deadbeat or other and you won't fuck up their property, or that you're just a flat-out jerk, whether or not you intend to be at all. I, myself, will do none of such things, and I will do what I can to pay up the rent on time. Besides all of those details of minor importance to you, I think I will have a place to stay, and I will do damn good, because my optimism tells me I will do damn good. That and I would like to take a dam tour through the damn dam.

The money I will receive on Tuesday should make everything a whole lot easier. I mentioned this money before, and I am mentioning it again, in all of it's repetitious glory, for your perhaps wavering attention span. It, being the money, will make all of this quite possible. If a damage deposit is necessary, then so be it; good riddance! Me and my room mate will split the deal 50/50 and we'll get the place, so I will laugh in joy. I am hoping that we will have left-over money for a few important things, like furniture and most importantly and more satisfying, food. If I don't have my food, I won't be happy. That and, we may need some appliances, like a Fry-Fries-O-Matic 5000 (if such a moniker exists) or Pasta Maker, on top of the toaster oven that I own already (I'd kiss Betty Crocker, but she's probably an old hag now, so I will pass any such a move). Fancy appliances, like anything that is actually useful, for me at least, are not important but I am not a coffee or caffeine user or anything, so that is just what I think of it. If I am correct on how much money I will get, I should have just around 900 dollars...if not more. I may be able to exploit the funds a little bit if I am lucky enough to be left hanging with at least a hundred or so dollars. But 'luxury' items, as I like to put them, are not important for at least a month's time. You know what luxury items are don't you? Take a look at your Playstation Dos, or your iPod playing stereo system piece of crap; these are luxury items but that may be solely my opinion.

We will need a few services of course, as you can't avoid it. Such services necessary to living a wholesome life are the phone, perhaps the television (I don't care if it is cable or satellite, whatever works best for our finances), and the World Wide Web (WWW), the latter of which I use most commonly and the least sparingly. I was told, in reference to such services, that we will have to place a deposit on at least one of the services...and this is because of our age range. For shit's sake! This is probably why so many people my age struggle to get by when going out on their own.

I am most of all excited, as is obvious, that I will be around the people I respect. Also, I look forward to seeing my special someone, you know who, the one in the picture in one of my recent articles. This just in: the Red Sox are the 2007 World Series Champions, this is two years in a row. As I type, all of them homophobic (:B) team mates are hugging each other in triumph and fully irrational appreciation of their cosmic sky-faery's intervention to lead the team to victory...or am I just trying to sound smart? If you guessed yes, then you're wrong. If you guessed no, then you're dead wrong. But, if you guessed nothing at all, then you're right to have done so. I'm just kidding though. I am trying to be witty. You've just lost 6 seconds of your life and I am proud to have taken away those six seconds.

I'll just end this by stating my excitement for returning to Moncton. I should be back in Monkey-town in a week or two TOPS. My room mate is referring me to his work place, so if that succeeds, then I think I'll be perfectly fine. I am so thankful to nothing spiritual or of religious trappings that we're still in the Fall season, as I hate moving shit in the cold (when you've moved to what would turn out to be a total dullard of a town during -30° Celsius winter winds that pierce the face (damn our evolution for the loss of our facial fur! Mustaches and beards & sideburns are not enough!) in the middle of January, you've experienced enough). Speaking of which, it will still possibly be chilly out, but I am not looking forward to such a prospect. And don't you go looking forward to it either.

Well, g'night my audience. Stay tuned for more of my blogging endeavors. If you're lucky, and I am able, my next article will be written in Moncton. Let's hope to that! I shall establish a continuously witty stream of articles from now on.

Oh and, I <3 Syl.

The Chance of a Lifetime!

Goodie! Something very good happened today. Let's see to that further on...

I think all of my effort so far to go back to Moncton is about to pay off. I received two responses from two places I applied at in Moncton. The first one was from Purolator for the position of Freight handler. What's neat about the response from Purolator is that I applied last night. Now that's a speedy reply! However, I cannot attend their interview session which happens today. I replied again stating my inability to for today, but I did ask that they keep me in mind for an interview session in the near future. Unfortunate yes, but there's still a lot of hope.

The second place I applied at was Kent. This is based in Trinity drive of Moncton. They called me and asked me to come to an interview today, but the same situation applies as for Purolator. I asked if I could be interviewed when I come back to Moncton. This will be soon, I hope. I'm going to find a way to stay in Moncton for a day or two so that I can attend an interview. I hope to get a response from Purolator as well, and if they set a date in the near future, then I will probably attend both while I visit Moncton again.

I don't want to go to Moncton without full knowledge that I will get a job so that I don't have to owe a shitload of money to my soon-to-be room mate. I do have some money that I get from my dad bi-monthly (for this month, tri-monthly, as there are three pay periods) but it is nothing to write home about. I'm just hoping that I can attend these interviews so that I can get the hell out of this place! I know that there will be others, I don't need to be reminded, but I will do my best to convince my would-be-hirers that I am the worker that they want. There's other places to which I applied in Moncton, but until I get a response from them, I will surely attend the two interviews (most likely to be only one so far as I know, as a second response from Purolator is pending).

I'm fairly excited. This could be my chance to get out of here, and most importantly, go out on my own. Yippee!

Wish me luck...

The Need to Exercise Patience is Valuable

Oh my, at the time of this writing, it is quite late. I've been up for perhaps 19 hours, which is actually too long, and is probably a dream for working-class folk (which I am not).

One of the only things I can look well to in terms of developments, in any way, shape, or form, is that I sent out yet another letter to my special someone. That special someone is the one in the picture found in the previous article. For the first time in, say, many years perhaps, I had sent/included a card with the letter. It's a "Miss You" type, but that's the best I could do, since the most luxurious card market I could touch in this berg was the local Wal-Mart (again, a periodical source of guilt for whenever I go through it's doors).

Well, I may be forgetting something else, and that is I had signed up for some online work-at-home gig of which I saw in the paper. It isn't needless to say that there was ONE LOUSY LISTING FOR "Help Wanted" IN THIS DAMN SHIT HOLE'S NEWSPAPER, this one was among the half dozen other listings under that category in Woodstock's good ol' classifieds (the back of which consisted, for what occupied half of it's surface, religious media advertisements and a moniker that screams propaganda, "THE LORD IS COMING"). I am, as usual with some things, skeptical about it's legitimacy and ability to help me earn money. But, what can I say? I at least put some effort into taking any measure to get out of this awful town.

As time passes, my pessimism for the near future grows. It is like a weed; as time goes on, the weed grows. We've all heard that metaphor before but that's what I am thinking of anyway. I know that there's most likely only one or two events that could help me get out of here, and that is either my step dad getting a job or position someplace else in the province, or my family is stricken with too much luck and wins the lottery. I can't see the latter, but I am a bit cynical towards the former as well. Ah, well, this may not be a healthy way of looking at things. It's hard to defeat though. I try to combat the brooding pessimism in me all the time with all due honesty, but my pessimism may be winning. It is probably why I sunk to the level of analyzing and even taking interest in online survey pages throughout the World Wide Web.

Then again, patience is a need for my situation here. I need to grab any opportunities by the horns and wrestle it under my full control, but this town is like a desolate pasture of very few 'horns' to grab onto. I'll keep my goal of escaping from here in my number one priority slot in my memory banks, but in the meantime, I have some ongoing war with cynicism that needs to end. It's not good for such a presence to exist in these hard times for me.

Oh and please, don't make me out as an "Emo" or a depression case, as I am far from either (I am against conformity so being an Emo is far from my interests).

An Uncomfortably Harsh Realization

As you can see, I have continued my using of cleverly devised titles. ^_^

The weekly mark is approaching since I had applied for three jobs, as I mentioned in the article below. It feels like it's been forever, to put it so bluntly albeit with a slight touch of cliché thrown in. There is no way I could actually accomplish my goal of going back to where I lived before, which I'll reveal to be Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada, while I do not have a job. Where could I go with only fifty dollars every two weeks? Well, perhaps as far as a dumpster somewhere in the place I want to go back to, but that's about as far as I can dream of at this point.

Yet as soon as I get a job, all I am going to be doing is saving up, or at least dedicating a very large portion of my earnings to my goal. The sooner I am out of here, the better. On the other hand...

My step-dad has applied for various positions throughout the province. I hope he gets them, and especially one that would make the world seem much brighter for me, as the position in mention is in a sister-city of Moncton. That's good news for anyone that wants to go there, and I fit into that category!

I have a headache, so I think I'll end this article here. I don't work well on anything with a headache, so I wanted to cut off around this point. Not to mention, this pizza I am eating deserves to be devoured and digested by my somewhat demanding stomach, so that is another incentive to say goodbye. Toodle-oo folks.

Assurance of a Wish

Oh, how I love what I chose for my title. Do you feel the same way?

Well, onto the subject at hand, I made a revelation today (of which, at the time of writing this very bracketed sentence, is left with only four minutes) and it may help me secure a means of escaping from my ever-declining sanity. I have applied for three jobs, since I applied at a dozen others a couple months before. One of these jobs happened to be Wal-Mart, and in regards to that company, I am one of the many people who could admit to feeling guilty for shopping in such a place. The other two included the local movie theater, which has pretty poor screen sizes, and Atlantic Superstore. I'm perhaps more optimistic about the last of these, but most of this is because of encouragement from my mother. That kind of thing helps on these occasions, I have to admit.

It's only a matter of time before I even get a response from any of my possible employers. I'd like a fixed income because I have planned to bunk in with a friend, thus granting my chance to leave this horrid place sooner than I initially hoped. The plan in question is a good one and I look forward to it. However, I will play this plan safe and build up my finances for perhaps a month and then take off to bunk in with my aforementioned friend.

Well, wish me luck. I think I have a good chance of acquiring the position of Night Crew Clerk at the local Atlantic Superstore. I've never worked in retail before but you've got to start out somewhere.

Living in a Berg, and abhorring it all the way...

I live in a very dull, depressing place at the moment of writing. I don't have a job at the time and I am skeptical about getting one now. I want to go back to where I was before I moved in to this place with my family (this wasn't a voluntary move, by the way), but without a job and most importantly, without money, I can't. I am stuck here.

This prospect upsets me at this very moment. I have lots of things to look forward to where I wish to go back to, but as long as I am, as I feel it, trapped here, they're but distant dreams. At least, where I want to go, there's a job market, opportunity, post secondary schooling, and places to buy stuff that I want or need! Yet, there's little of all of those in this dump. Mostly what I am looking forward to is my social life, which was healthy where I was before this place, of which I have little here.

I may have came off as a depression case there, or something pertaining to social issues, and I can admit that I do have a problem with social issues. It's not that I can't build up much in the way of friendships or acquaintances here, but it's that I don't. I have a problem with generalizing people in this region, but from what I know of them already, I made and still make the effort to avoid them. They're bible-thumpers for one, and I don't bide well with such a crowd. They've also a strange attitude towards people that are not from the area, as in, out-of-towners. This is one of the reasons that the job market here, of which there's almost none, is a detrimental aspect to anyone's success in this dump. After all, it has the highest unemployment rate in the province at 9.8% last time I checked so this is firm evidence that there's this odd vibe towards people looking for a job whom none of the employers or townsfolk know. But I will try all I can to get a fixed income so that I can escape from this horrid town.

After all, I am looking forward to reuniting with a special someone where I am hoping to go. I have plans to go back by April '08. That is, if I can. My sanity is on the line as long as I remain here. I don't think I am a very healthy person here. My family knows this and they feel bad for me. But I will triumph over this berg. I'm not going to let my emotions get the best of me here, as I know that I won't have to be here for all my life anyway.

Here's to hoping...