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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A Co-Ed Update: Holidays bring Glory Days; Love Reaches into the Sky; Victim Of Love progress

It's been a while since I touched this blog.

My holidays started over a week ago, and I have less than one week left to spare. Thankfully, it won't be time not-so-well wasted as I am being productive, in more ways than one.

Unfortunately, Victim of Love is on hold for now. In fact, I am considering giving it a "re-try", as the last place left at in the story put me in a bind. The dreaded writer's block. Perhaps I was forcing myself too much as I was writing it but I will definitely give it another go in a day or two, at the soonest. However, at least I wrote something, which I've updated or corrected here and there.

That something is called Love Reaches into the Sky. It's another concept and though it may seem cliche to some who'd read it, the theme I aimed for was that even those who have strength of character can be tested by the Goliath that is love. It's not story-driven, at least in a pure sense, which gives it more flexibility.

I have not given up on Victim Of Love, which I hope will turn out to be something that readers will remember. I want to make an impression with it, but I don't want to be pretentious about it. When you write a story, you often get side-tracked by writer's block if you write "organically", or as it comes in other words.

Other than that, I won't be all that active with this blog until I get another break from college. In terms of college itself, I just hope I didn't fail that Cisco class, which was "taught" by a total wanker who can't teach to save his life (he even admitted to the class that he wasn't an instructor...). At least give me a damn 60 percent so I can move on without worrying about the school letting me go from one incomplete grade. Assholes.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A Co-Ed Update; Priorities & Issues; Victim Of Love Logo

WordPress is a solid blogging service, but I refuse to pay the fee necessary to edit and save a CSS spreadsheet for styling. I need a distinctive style for my blog(s), so WordPress is not good enough for me. Mind you, I checked into this right after I made my previous submission to this here site, but I haven't bothered making any statements about it until tonight.

I'm still not impressed with Google signing a deal with Verizon, and their stealth processes that run on my computer (GoogleUpdateNotifier, anyone?) prove to be a nuisance, since they don't actually let me know if and when an update to any relevant application is available, and simply install in the background. It totally drove my copy of Kaspersky nuts when it was actually installing a setup executable for Google Earth without making me aware of it.

On another note, my desktop computer is not seeing good days. The two-gigabyte (DDR2) memory is roughly half-free when you subtract the resources that the running processes require, but that's not the biggest problem. My main concern is my PSU; when I compute with resource-intensive applications, it shuts off. I was sort of concerned earlier when it happened today because immediately afterward, a faint smell of melting plastic or what-have-you came about. Not a good sign. It's a 420W PSU that worked just fine for the past year and a half of use, but it's always been near its limits because my GPU uses up 350 W on a good day, and the average mainboard from my PC's time used up roughly 60-75W to run. So it's pretty much stretched thin at all times, moreso when I game.

Anywho, I haven't written much on Victim Of Love, lately. With school comes lots of things running through the mind, like studying, making sure I remember my schedule correctly, writing my own attempt at "The Aristocrats" routine which should surely offend, and other useless things. Aesthetics are another matter. To put that in more understandable terms, I've made some logos for this concept. I'll just show one version below. Note that my signature is in the bottom-right corner.

Made with the latest build of The GIMP (2.6.9, I think)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Google Is Now Doing Evil

The "Googizon" deal that was just recently achieved is only an achievement for them, the moneymakers in this case. Google makes a lot of money annually, as well as Verizon, but does that give them a right to control traffic based on what they believe makes them money? No. They're the transmitters of the internet, not the content providers. This deal basically pushes the prioritization of content that suits their interests, whether a provider pays Googizon the money to earn the heightened bandwidth throttling, or a provider espouses ideals that are for the same interests that Googizon yearns for.

It is pretty clear now that Google, and Verizon especially, are only interested in the bottom line - money. But at what expense, Google? And by the way, this will only work for them in the short-term, because the improvisations they come up with to control traffic will be offset just like TV was for the longest time, with theft being a huge factor in television providers controlling the prices for abiding consumers. They're only going to shoot themselves in the foot in the long run, as the Internet Service Provider(ISP)s which, at least for a while, look out for the interests of the consumer because CUSTOMER KNOWS BEST AFTER ALL, and thus earn more income from interested clients. Competition is good in any case, but actively working against network neutrality undermines competition, which works against the consumers who want what the competition offers. Apologies for the run-on sentence previously.

Not to mention, on Google's twitter (more like 'twatter') profile, they said, last week, that they were not in talks with Verizon for this deal. So they either outright lied about it, or perhaps there was a huge amount of pressure from Verizon for Google to go with the deal (which means that Google is desperate, maybe?), perhaps showing that there's more companies out there who have bad intentions in mind than we consumers are generally aware of. Network Neutrality, a big issue going on for the LITTLE GUYS of the developed and digitally connected world, is in jeopardy because of these two giants and their dealings. Think about it, you want to visit HuffingtonPost.com, which sometimes espouses ideals that are not in favor of giant corporations seeking COMPLETE control of their markets (like any tyrannical government would), then Googizon would slow down the aforementioned website. Fox News (Faux Noise, more like it) would get priority throttling because they are not only in favor of giant corporations, but they are pretty much owned by corporate interests as well. Sounds good? For them, yes (at least in the short-term); for you and I, this is detrimental.

So many people are running businesses on the internet, often failing to meet a profit margin, but they still make necessary money for people. If network neutrality is undermined any further, one of the only bastions of freedom of speech and of societal empowerment (for EVERYONE with internet) will become gang territories of sorts, with the Internet Service Providers being the gang leaders. Segregation and sheer control of interests will ensue, and people will have to watch their step.

Thank you, Google. No really, thanks for showing everyone who looked at you as an objective, supportive internet entity that you are just like all of the bullies of the corporate world; greedy as can get. As a Blogger user, I'm not sure if I will remain here because of this development. Verizon has little or no cred. up here, but that doesn't mean I'm still not going against my interests by giving Google the propping up that my traffic brings to them. I'll consider deleting my account, but until then I need to figure out how I will carry out my (non-detrimental) interests elsewhere.

Peace to you all, and I hope you do what's right. Stick up for the interests of the consumer, for the internet is PUBLIC domain and not PRIVATE.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Victim Of Love - Update

I've written the first two lyrics just now, all within ten minutes. This has only happened a few times since I've made a hobby of writing song lyrics. I can already see how it would be perceived as dark, given the nature of the character I am still developing. The effort should pay off, big time.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Victim Of Love (Concept Album Overview/Synopsis)

This was just started tonight. The idea first popped in my head a few days ago, and I wanted to write it out, expand it into something romantically sinister, intimately dangerous. One of the most intriguing plot-lines I've ever read in literary history was the sycophantic relationship between (King) MacBeth & Lady MacBeth, of the ever famous cinematic play written by William Shakespeare. This storyline, in lyrical form, is inspired by that play. Of course, there's my own creations involved, and not some blind quest for power over a kingdom.

By the way, until I get a copyright on my concept albums already written (two are finished, two are still in the works, including this one), I will not put them up on here. This may seem hypocritical, given the fact that I've already posted well over one-hundred pieces, but at least they are protected, to a limited extent, by the Creative Commons license. However, I want full authority & ownership of my conceptual works. So at the most, I'll post a synopsis & a song-title list. That should proceed right...about...NOW:

Victim Of Love

Love is a shackling series of emotional responses, to attraction, to longing, to the fantastical realm of need. The wealth of possible actions, rational and irrational, determine the character of a person in love. What would it be like if someone were to feel a tingling sense of bloodthirst, serving the frontlines of love? Victims differ by cause, but is the man in my story truly a victim of love? Or is he a slave to it?

Lured By Wire

Entranced

Spinehooks

Grasping My Blood

A Heart Of Gold

Turned To Black

Masochism, Protection, & Perversion

Enemy To Friends

Marked

Duped

En la NegaciĆ³n

Victim Of Love

Saturday, July 10, 2010

This is not a writer's block period

Things seem very slow 'round these parts because my focus is on other things, more pressing things. When circumstances work themselves out more in my favour, I'll pick the pace right back up. I didn't put up the lyrics yet because I want to get them copyrighted before putting them out there for everyone to see & possibly steal. So no, I'm not in a rut; this is not a writer's block period.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Obscure Deletion Option

So just a half hour ago, I found a way to request for my account to be deleted. It is a link to a form on the site that is hidden in the Privacy FAQ section, obviously intended to be that way. Facebook makes their money from selling your information to various entities, sometimes with malicious intent, so by filling out the small form, I've effectively told them that I've had enough. Whether or not this will out & out remove any of my presence is a mystery, but I'm not going to dwell on it.

I am looking forward to an alternative that is in the works. It is an open-source, downloaded application in which you will control the traffic of any information you wish to share. It's called Diaspora (die-a-spor-ra). I don't want to be a shill for them or anything, but what I like about it is that you don't simply give information to any entity, you put it on yourself. Facebook does what it wants with your information because they provide the platform for you to do so with the website (in other words, sites like Myspace, Twitter, Facebook, and so on are "middle-men" in social networking). Diaspora, on the other hand, will provide you with the means to make a platform to share whatever information you please, based entirely out of your machine. I don't know the whole story about how this system will work, but I've watched a few videos of the guys explaining it, and I like what I've heard so far.

So with that, nobody should bother contacting me on that mess of a website that has even produced a new disorder called "Facebook Addiction Disorder", with a list of symptoms & treatments to boot!

- G

Friday, June 18, 2010

Observatory Rant On Blogger Update (UPDATED)

It's still ugly.

This shit needs a lot of improvement, but I've made some amends on my own just moments ago. I've adjusted the size of the right sidebar to accommodate the last.fm widget, for one. Links are also better on the eyes, at least for me anyway :P. Also, any album reviews with an image of the album cover(s) will be limited to 200px by width & height, anything higher than that won't be accepted. The background repeats, but I don't want it that way because it looks ridiculous. I want it to scroll with the users' input. Oh well. Progress has been made at least. Google should have put some oversight on this template designer. I forgot to mention before that the Designer preview section doesn't even work! Not for me at least. And maybe it isn't compatible with Firefox, simply enough. I don't know nor do I care, because I'm fine with viewing any changes by clicking View Blog. 

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Concept Album Preview

    The man of many dreams, a mind of many fractures, awakens from a painfully induced slumber. He sees that the world he assumes was once his home is a ruin. A journey through that ruin, with all of its angles, oddities, and traumas, reveals something sinister beneath the veneer of decay & death he sees around him. Like with any network interface, the scattered pockets of his sanity show him, against his knowledge, that the world in which he's found himself is not what it seems to be. Is it simply a fantasy of a mind that is truly deranged? Or is it the other way around? That is what the listener is left to decipher in this journey through a man's mentally deteriorating quest to seek the truth in a place that welcomes death and abandonment before life and growth. This is Forget, Regret; Power, Devour.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Dillinger Escape Plan: Option Paralysis Review



The Dillinger Escape Plan
Option Paralysis


There's no feeling in this place, the echoes of the past speak louder than any voice I hear right now. This album is definitely loud throughout most of its duration. Bid your welcome to DEP's latest offering, because it deserves a lot of welcome. Mind you, I'm not totally on-top of DEP's works, only the debut and this album, so I won't try to act like I know a whole lot about how each and every album works and all that. Anyways, enough of that. 
The seal-loving folks at DEP are pretty damn creative with their craft. They blend a chaotic mix of oddly timed Mathcore (which the sub-sub-genre is all about), ambient/electronica background effects, highly technical thrash metal, and whatever else they're willing to throw in. All of this allows for variety on the album, which is refreshing to say the least. You can hear it all in the opening track alone, "Farewell, Mona Lisa", which is a terrific opener I have to say. Greg Puciato knows how to handle his voice, and he's not afraid to try various styles. The new drummer is terrific, even though I'm not too familiar with previous drummer Sharone's style. He pummels the drums like he's had one too many cups of coffee. The guitarist and bassist are also quite crazy. That's all on the opening track.
The mathcore element kicks in full-time in the next track. Time signatures are all over the place, and it is a highly technical riff-fest. At the halfway point, the song takes on a groovy tone, with a somewhat Punk-rock touch. If anyone needed a rest from the previous song, this tune won't do that for them!
"Gold Teeth On a Bum" slows things down quite a bit, and Greg sings more than he screams, especially during the choruses. The variety on the album should start becoming obvious to the listener at this point.
Fourth track in, and you'll be reminded of the second song right away. This happens to be the shortest on the album, but the tempo of the song reflects that. They also throw in The Daughters-esque riffs, which sound schizophrenic to say the least. Neat!
Oh, and speaking of The Daughters-esque riffs, that's how "Endless Endings" opens itself up. The tempo didn't slow down at all, either. The guitarist has fun shredding it up in a thrash metal fashion, and Greg Puciato flexes his vocal muscle again. 
Variety makes its mark in the next song, "Widower", which includes a classical piano! Greg shows at this point that he's a capable singer, with a very soft, and quiet tone. The Mike Patton influence kicks off when the piano element makes its exit, for the most part. There's a lot more ambience to make for atmosphere, and not too much in the way of the guitars. Up to the end of the song, the pianos make a glorious return. This makes the song one of the best on the album, right up there with the opener.
Mathcore and Doom metal are the flavor of the day on "Room Full of Eyes", where the tempo and technicality jump all over the place. Also, Greg tries another vocal style on this track. When will he stop? No one should ask him to stop, though, he knows how to keep the listener intrigued.
Some more ambience leads us into the next track. The beat in the song is more stable, less frantic. There doesn't seem to be any chorus in the song, but that doesn't mean that Puciato doesn't try his hand at interesting singing.
Here comes the Mathcore element again. The drummer was probably told to lose his inhibitions for "I Wouldn't If You Didn't." It's a very technical song, and everyone seems to have a great time in it.
Normally the closing track for those who own the regular edition of the album, "Parasitic Twins" makes use of the band's electronic influences to be an effective closer. Plus, Puciato sings on pretty much the entire track, especially during the piano parts. Plus, the guitarist tosses in an old-style guitar solo to lead us into the end. 
For those of us, including myself, who have the digipak edition, the additional track is an electronica-laden and shortened remix of the song "Widower." It's a little creepy in parts, and even seems to include a light vocal orchestra. 
There you have "Option Paralysis", a solid album from a solid Mathcore outfit. I've seen them described as "the Band of Spastic Retards", possibly because they go all over the place in terms of song tempo. That somewhat rough description is fitting, and the band seems to embrace it gleefully. 

8.5/10 

Breakdown:
- Frantic changes in tempo, especially on part of the drummer.
- Greg Puciato has talent, as he sings in what I think may be 6 or 7 different styles on the album. Who else does that in this genre?
- Highly technical guitar work.
- "Farewell, Mona Lisa" is a terrific album opener, and the message behind it speaks of the band's confidence in their abilities.
- Nice inclusion of the piano on the official closing track, with Puciato actually singing as well.
- Whoever designed the case for the digipak edition should be shot. It's just a major pain in the ass, even though it is unique.
- For the most part, the lyrics are nothing out of the ordinary, even though the opening song has a powerful message behind it.
- Odd bonus track.

 

Sunday, May 23, 2010

So Old, So Cold

Take my skin, and live it a lifetime unlike me
Today it feels so hollow and empty of joy
That's when I realize where I'm going
It just seems so unfair to me is all

I have to bear with the truth, I'm so old
I'm so in need of meaning, I'm so cold
When I die, remember me
I've lived my life to the bitter end

I'm so old, and so cold

With the way I've lived, one would feel so hopeless
At this moment I'm in drowning in misery
Mortified at the thought of the end of my life
It just seems that I couldn't be what I wanted to be

I have to bear with the truth, I'm so old
I'm so in need of meaning, I'm so cold
When I die, remember me
I've lived my life to the bitter end

I'm so old, and so cold

Take my skin and take it to places I've never been
That's my regret
To never embrace
The possibilities

With the way I've lived, just the thought is torturous
That's my crime
To myself
Now it's too late to do it again

I have to bear with the truth, I'm so old
I'm so in need of meaning, I'm so cold
When I die, remember me
Now to bear with the truth, I'm so old
So in need of meaning, I'm so cold
When I die, remember me
I've lived my life where I could never be
All that was possible

Bring Down Our Berlin Wall

The wall is ominous
It's all that separates us
I've unfurled my sickles and hammers
To strike it down
Built from your trauma
It displaces our love
The time we found each other
Now seemingly gone
The wall is oppressive
It's what distances us
From whatever hearts we're made of
Won't you help strike it down
It guards your soul
The feelings we have for each other
Now lost in the unknown

The wall is spiteful
It's the thorn in our sides
Why do you lack the mutual effort
To help do it away
My hands are breaking
It eats at my longing
For time we could spend together
Now under lock and key
The wall is maddening
My Goliath, your David
I've unsheathed my utmost will
To bring it down
A part of your weakness
That keeps you from growing
And giving us the chance
To be happy together

I've unfurled my sickles and hammers
I've unsheathed my utmost will
Why can't you help me
Bring down our Berlin Wall

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Concept album coming up soon...

As the title states, a concept album is under way. I should be finished pretty soon. But it won't be a recorded completion; it'll be a written one! Until I can get the actual musical talent to bring the album to life, that will wait while the lyrics themselves are available.

It's divided by chapters, since it will be in a distinct style by my standards. The album will be called "Forget, Regret; Power, Devour", and it's a story of a man awakening to a world gone amok. There will be a twist to it, as the story won't be as overdone as you will initially think. But, I digress; all forms of literature, and hence, art is left up to the interpretation of the reader/viewer/listener. Whatever YOU, my reader, gets out of it is completely up to the mental processes working in your biologically lazy mind. No offense :P.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Nothing Left

Outside there is nothing
That can save me from
Death of my own making
So I wait for a time to
End the excruciating
Pain of the everyday
There's nothing left for me
There's nothing left for me
To experience
It's all been spoken for

What has come my way
Is all of the world the same
We sacrifice seconds, minutes
Just for it to end in decay

There's nothing left

Inside of my own head
One could find emptiness
It's not the fault of mine
Life is just a carousel
I'm no longer a willing being
So send the ender or I'll do it
There's nothing left for me
There's nothing left for me
To experience
It's all been spoken for

What has come my way
Is all of the world the same
We sacrifice seconds, minutes
Just for it to end in decay

There's nothing left

I can't be convinced
I can't be reasoned with
No one can stop this
Self-defiance
Or can the void be filled
With something new?

There's nothing left

What has come my way
Is all of the world the same
We sacrifice seconds, minutes
Just for it to end in decay

The terror of life!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Light My Fire

Breathe deep, breathe deep
And light my fire
I'm just mere kindling
Waiting for your blazing eyes

Look in, look into my eyes
And you'll realize
I'm a flame yet to live
Waiting for your tender skin

Don't you see everything
I am all that you await
Set me aflame
Make me feel alive

Breathe deep, breathe deep
And light my fire
I'm just mere kindling
Waiting for your blazing eyes

Look deep, look deep
Into my eyes
I'm a pyre yet to blaze
Waiting for your tender skin

Don't you see everything
I am all that you await
Set me aflame
Make me feel alive
And in my warmth
I'll breathe you new life

Monday, April 19, 2010

A Whole Lotta Prick Wavin'

That's exactly what Nuclear Armament and being a Military Superpower is all about, really. But that is especially the case for having nuclear warheads by the thousands. America currently has the biggest prick in the world with their supply of missiles, and they like to keep that status. Like a real man would be, they're insecure that Iran could prove to have an even bigger dick because of their fervent eagerness to research and construct missiles, perhaps of innovative technological proportions.
The U.S is going stiff, thanks to the injection of far too much viagra, or in the case of real-life, spending money. It's thrown the precious budget of the United States into turmoil, amongst other reasons, like being far too generous to Wall St. and big-time corporations who are able to hide their money from the government in tax shelters overseas, via tax cuts. But that's not the issue. Idiots like Palin & Bachmann, who appear to be rousing the idea of a duo ticket for 2010/2012, think it's just fucking dandy that any country, for pragmatic purposes, wields the most devastating weapons we've ever invented as a species. They're evil contraptions that, at best, were a necessary evil, to show ourselves that if we make the wrong move, we can pretty much kiss our asses goodbye on a species-wide level.
What the hell are the wingnuts thinking? This is not a light topic to touch on. Oh, and since Palin quickly, and ignorantly stated that no other government in history has wanted to reduce nuclear armament, she should look back to the hero of many wingnuts who infect the media; Ronald Reagan Sr. He was totally against the very notion that nuclear warheads even exist in the world. Probably because he knows just how destructive they are. The only thing it really does is that it gives a country a reason to say, "fuck off or we'll hurt you, big time."
Even Kim Jong-Il, a total egocentric whackjob, knows what missiles can do. Like any male-dominated governing power, he wants to show off the size of his prick and try to prove that he can perform with the best of them. It's just funny how far the male ego extends into our society. Just about everything that can hurt, let alone kill people are inspired by the hunger for domination that many males have; missiles are shaped like giant dongs, bullets and slugs are too, grenades, etc. And since the Western World, or more specifically, the U.S happens to have the biggest supply of such phallocentric designs, it must mean that the U.S is the most insecure. And they're growing stiff. With Barrack in power, it almost seems like he's telling the U.S that it's time that the U.S just settles down, to live the rest of its live with its closest ally, Canada. Just like a marriage...
It's no joke to say that we should have never invented something as evil as nuclear warheads. But we do, because we're sickly obsessed with competition. Even if nukes are just a big act of symbolism because of the devastation they can unleash, we're still kidding ourselves and our only home in the universe by keeping them around. Only a completely insane, mindless idiot would press the big red button. Kim Jong-Il, as far as I am concerned, is the closest person I know of who'd press the big red button, which I hope would play a voice saying, "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?! THINK ABOUT IT MAN! "WAR-GAMES" SHOWED US THAT WE'D ALL LOSE, ANYWAY." But yet, he's sane enough (strange as it may seem) to know better than that. So perhaps the only kind of person who would truly press that taunting button is a complete dropkick, in terms of overall intelligence; Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann come to mind. This is why the U.S should avoid either of these two idiots as much as possible. Cause nukes are not a simple toy at a playground, Palin, they're like a descending ceiling in an Egyptian trap, and everyone will get crushed. And you're not a man, so what the fuck do you care about the prick-waving act behind nuclear armament?
Perhaps she just likes pricks that much. Would make sense, given that she likes the U.S having such a big dick (2,600 or so nukes, yeah, look at that tool!).

Friday, April 16, 2010

Together & Forever

There's nothing better
When we're together
Blink of eyes
As two turns to one
Stretch the smiles
As the spark is done
Our link is deep
The work is steep
Contend no more
We've been there before
Our auras are shining
In our wake
If the gods are smiling
It's of our make
There's nothing better
When we're together
We're linked at center
Together & Forever
We're linked at center
Together & Forever

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Three Long Months

Three long months
The harrowing thoughts
And the best of yesterday
All in those months
The journey with you
Went every which way
And I would never want
It to have happened otherwise
All in those months
I learned of you
I learned of myself
What I feel for you
Words can't describe enough
As I have been granted
All of you
Your face
Your smile
Your happiness
My joy
I couldn't ask for better
All of you
Your grace
Your heart
Your happiness
My joy
In those long three months
Through the harrowing thoughts
I thought of you
Of the goodness
Of the positives
Of the possibilities
Of you, my everything
I couldn't ask for better
As I have been granted
You as a boon
Through the thick and thin
I always felt the joy in;
Your face
Your smile
Your happiness
My joy
Your grace
Your heart
Your happiness
My joy

I couldn't ask for better
I wouldn't ask for anything else
But you by my side
I love you

Saturday, April 10, 2010

End Of The Line

End of the line, trudged on through time
I've lost my mind through death's grim signs
Sated my taste to take the battle on
The spoils of the end are curiosity's son
I led a life of stories so far & wide
By effort I avoided the ominous tide
It all came to this, visage of final bliss
Never came, and I felt shame; I played a game
The game of the illusory comfort
To hold my sanity together in fort
And by this day I have reached
Come this day truth we all seek
End of the line, trudged on through time
I've lost my mind through death's grim signs

Friday, April 9, 2010

Cyber-Veneer

The distance in wires
Isolates me
What I want to grasp
Is far away
A simple sentence
Is never enough
I want the closeness
Once again

You're so far away
Behind the screen
I want to be close
Closer to you

The truth in characters
Obliterates me
What I want to know
Is hardly real
A simple single click
Should heal me
I want the closeness
Again & again

You're so far away
Behind the screen
I want to be close
Closer to you

You're so unreal
Behind the words
I want to know you
Know all I need

You're so far away
Too far away for me
I want to be close
Close with you

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Insomnia

Every single tortured night
I find myself screaming awake
Every time I envision myself
With not a single meaning
Can I find a way out of here?
Can I escape from this pain?
What is the fix for nothingness
To stop myself screaming awake

Every single tortured day
I find myself darting each way
Every time I envision myself
Lying in a dash of my pain
Can I find a way out of here?
Can I escape from anguish?
Who is out there to help me
To stop myself screaming awake

Every single tortured night
I find myself screaming awake
Every time I envision myself
Glazed in my terror sweats
Can I find a way out of this?
Can I escape from this pain?
Where can I run away to
To stop myself screaming awake

Every single tortured day
I find myself wanting to fade
Every time I envision myself
Once again screaming awake
Can I find a way out of this?
Can I escape from anguish?
What can I do for myself
To stop myself screaming awake

Awake
Awake
Awake

Help me

The Dove

If my heart speaks in deafening volumes; I love you.
If I turn back time to make things right; I love you.
If I make a sacrifice every single moment for you; I love you.
If the world doesn't understand what we feel; I love you.
And if every single time I am lifted in your presence; I'll love you always.

If the tremors in my hands intensify in your gaze; I love you.
If the high and low forecasts in our wake don't stop me; I love you.
If I dedicate myself to uphold your acceptance in me; I love you
If everyone in the world could hear me, I'd shout it; I love you.
And if every single time I am lifted in your presence; I'll love you always.

The dove flies every day for me.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Prince Of Thieves

This is not my usual style, because it is not intended to be a lyric. Nonetheless, since lyrics are basically poems in themselves, this can still be classed with the rest of my poetic works.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here I tell a tale, makes my heart swell
Of the days I was the Prince of Thieves
A tragedy where, as my teardrops fell
I toiled and troubled for my dear family

First, the wife, mean so much to me
Struck with fatality, she'd hardly see
I tried and I tried to give her a cure
Yet my low stature deemed me inferior

And so I defied the laws of the land
To pay for heroics I felt the iron hand
Took me away, they would not heed
And thus they named me the Prince of Thieves

And thus she passed...

Then, first-born, mean so much to me
Starving and wounded, a child in need
I tried and I tried to give her respite
Yet all my efforts were clogged with might

And again I defied the laws of the land
For feed for my child, I felt the iron hand
Took me away, they would not heed
And thus they named me the Prince of Thieves

And thus, she passed...

Then, last child, all that's left of me
Fell with the illness, could hardly breathe
I tried and I tried to give her a cure
Yet my past crimes deemed me sinner

And again I defied the laws of the land
To save my last love, I felt the iron hand
Took me away, they would not heed
And thus they named me the Prince of Thieves

And thus, she passed...

The tale I told, makes my days cold
Of the days I was the Prince of Thieves
I hope you learn from what I've told
So as to guide you in your dire times of need

And thus, I shall pass...

Gone To The Next Day

The past mistakes
My weapons, my aces

The best places
My heartache rages

And here I go again
Into the unknown
Where I will go
No one will know

The worst faces
New-found relationships

The next days
Keep me on my way

And here I go again
Into the unknown
Where I will go
No one will know

My past mistakes
Worst met faces
Prove to be my weapons
Prove to be my aces

Into the unknown
Into the unknown
Into the unknown
Into the unknown

Henceforth I go

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sanguinary Creature

In the accusatory light of everyday
I successfully masquerade
Two figments of mind equally insane
Get me off the fucking street!

Insatiable thirst for gore built up
No need to mention I'm fucked up
In the slammer I've plummeted
Now need to kill to get back up

Need you ask why? Are you blind?
Isn't my visceral nature a sign?
I guess I must rip out your spine
By then it might be too late for you

Oh but I'd rather take pleasure
In the insatiable act of torture
Your screams are the only measure
Get me off the fucking street!

Welcome me Driver!
Welcome me Driver!
Welcome me Driver!
I'm back, your lord, Driver!

Without Your Senses

Slither sense of innocence
What you once never had
Dim all you had once meant
To seek and fight for, my lad
There's a sea beyond us all
Found yonder only in your mind
Courage is needed, break the wall
To love the time you spend alive

Slip away sense of darkness
Penumbra contrast to despair
Always there for you to harness
In the time you breathe the air
There's a sea beyond us all
Found yonder only in your mind
Courage is needed, break the wall
To love the time you spend alive

Sloshed in sense of tension
Can't keep you fast in the line
Same to me, for why I mention
Felt all the same in the life of mine
There's a sea beyond us all
Found yonder only in your mind
Courage is needed, break the wall
To love the time you spend alive

Sliding sense of wisdom
Only if your mind knows of it
To achieve is to find freedom
So easy for us all to miss
There's a sea beyond us all
Found yonder only in your mind
Courage is needed, break the wall
To love the time you spend alive

Love is life...love is life
Love your life...break the wall

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Claim Me

 So close to home, close to my blackened heart
The burden of truth on my horrid voracity
Hit me hard and swift, upon sight of innocence
I had to resist, I couldn't take the life of a kid

For death is my only friend
As I've brought many lives to an end...

I'm sinking into this ever deepening abyss
I believe in the karma that is coming my way
I'm sinking into this ever deepening abyss
I know I will see the face of death I truly deserve

For death is my only friend
As I've brought many lives to an end...

So I welcome you, taker of souls replete with sin
I'm far too inhumane to coexist
With those whose humanity I had once shared
I had to resist, I couldn't take the life of a kid

For death is my only friend
As I've brought many lives to an end...

I'm sinking into this ever deepening abyss
I believe in the karma that is coming my way
I'm sinking into this ever deepening abyss
I know I will see the face of death I truly deserve

For death is my only friend
As I've brought many lives to an end...

My abyss, from the blackest pit of my being
Consumes me in the time where truth has hit
I can't live anymore
I can't know anymore
I can't accept anymore
The monster I've become

For death is my only friend
As I've brought many lives to an end...

I'm sinking into this ever deepening abyss
I believe in the karma that is coming my way
I'm sinking into this ever deepening abyss
I know I will see the face of death I truly deserve

My abyss claims me
Consumes me from dark truth
I am a monster
I am a monster...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Washed Of Weeping Days

Keep your weeping inside
Now is your time
Now is man's time
To shine a light on hope

Living in style

Living easy life

Can take its toll on you

When things turn down

You hold the key
Every single second
It's inside of you
It's inside of us

Living in style

Living easy life

Can take its toll on you

When things turn down

So soon
So soon it'll all come around
So soon
So soon it'll all come around
So soon
So soon it'll all come around
So soon
So soon and we will all see

Life can take its toll on you

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Charm

Madam Starlight
You're so bright
Lay unto me

Your charm...

The every night
I catch a glimpse of you
Your very light
Works to help me through
The bustling days
My every day
Don't go away
Don't go away

Madam Starlight
You're so bright
Lay unto me

Your charm...

Grab hold of us
With your charm
Take hold of us
Light so warm

Madam Starlight
You're so bright
Lay unto me

Madam Starlight
You're so bright
Lay unto me

Your charm...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

GAD

Don't you worry
You can't know of everything
And the worst doesn't always happen
So don't you worry

See through to positive
See through to the best
Keep your cool
Keep it real

And don't you worry

If It's Not Made In Heaven

If it's not made in heaven...

You think grand, you know what you want
Seen a future with someone you love
It's true, and only true if you want it to be
And if you need, I'll be there always by your side

That's the truth, for love is life
But as with anything
Nothing comes easily

If it's not made in heaven
Don't let that stop you
For if you hang in there
The love you seek will find you
Nothing comes so easily
The best in life doesn't come
If it's not made in heaven

You know who your heart is for, she's the one
Only think of the good things that could come
Love the every moment that you get
If you persevere, the goodness will be with you

That's the truth, for love is life
And as with anything
Nothing comes easily

If it's not made in heaven
Don't let that stop you
For if you hang in there
The love you seek will find you
Nothing comes so easily
The best in life doesn't come
If it's not made in heaven

She's the one, let her feel you
Let her know who you are
Nothing comes easily
Nothing comes so easily

The best in life doesn't come
If it's not made in heaven

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Gemini

Gemini, Gemini, Gemini

Come to me! Come to me! Come to me!

Gemini

Take my life, give it an end
To set me free, forever I so dread!

Gemini, Gemini, Gemini

Come to me! Come to me! Come to me!

Gemini

Give me peace, of heart & mind
To know that my life will end in time

Gemini, Gemini, Gemini

Come to me! Come to me! Come to me!
Answer me! Answer me! Answer me!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Converge: Axe To Fall Review



Converge
Axe To Fall

"For a very long time, we've wanted to do a collaboration album where we could include people we're close with or friends with and who we gel with musically and socially. Now, we did that and it's pretty seamless. [Axe to Fall] doesn't feel like a big rock record where the guest vocalists come out and a spotlight is being thrown on them. It's much more involved than that. It's much more refined."
-Jacob Bannon (vocalist/album artist)

What a fun album to listen to! Converge have done it again with 'Axe To Fall', a powerful and frenetic bullet-train of unsteady and unruly chaotic hardcore. And since the band wanted to change the formula a bit by featuring guest musicians (hence the quote above, where Jacob mentions doing a collaborative effort), all kinds of new musical territory, in terms of the band's resume, are explored. It's great when a band progresses as they please, and they know what they want to do with it as well, thus coming out gloriously.
The progressive-metal stylings of the first song, with extremely fast drumming by Ben Koller, and then machinegun like power-metal guitar work by Kurt Ballou, all make the opening track (Dark Horse) a huge blast to listen to. It's definitely worthy of an ecstatic and energetic concert crowd, ready to pounce and dance in every way imaginable. Jacob's vocals aren't all screaming either, he yells as well, during the verses. It's somewhat new territory for fans who are used to how he sang in previous records. And as usual for Jacob Bannon's lyrical prowess, it's a solid effort on his part. Very good way to start off what works out to be a very good album.
The next track, Reap What You Sow, features ex-Hatebreed guitarist Sean Martin on lead guitar, shredding the poor thing to good use. Sean couples his sold hardcore punk skills with Jacob's crazy vocals as well as providing backup vocals, and blesses the listener with a fast-paced heavy metal solo. The song closes with a quick scream of lyrics by Jacob, then the next song immediately continues where the previous song left off. This is Axe To Fall, the title track of course. It's their first single. Kurt Ballou picks up the lead guitar again, and George Hirsch of Blacklisted backs up Jacob's sonic assault with some vicious howling. This song slows down a little bit mid-way, but the song is heavier overall than the second track. 
The guitarists of Cave In, a side-project that Kurt Ballou contributes to, take the appropriate positions on the album. The way they deliver in this song is wild, making Effigy, the fourth track, a wild and ambitious mosh-pit driver.
The band itself returns in full for Worms Will Feed/Rats Will Feast, a very slow, Doom Metal styled song full of hard hitting bass lines. The latter half of the song is the best part overall, with intriguing grooves laden with a more focused rhythm. I also like the lyrics, they're very hard-hitting, and are fitting for the style the band is executing in the song.
Wishing Well is one of the most hardcore punk styled songs on the album, by a landslide. From the drum tempo delivered by Koller, to the hardcore inspired lead guitar from guest musician Ulf Cederlund of Disfear (indeed, the band sounds very much like Disfear in this track, thanks to a Disfear member's contributions), the track is fun to listen to. As usual, the theme of the lyrics fit a "cause & effect" story, especially because of the lines: "your words can't touch me/while your past ways down your life/your heart can't love me/while your past (still) haunts you inside."
Just like Worms.../Rats..., the next song, Damages, is a different style and pace for the album. The song does pick up a bit after 1:05 or so. It's also a somewhat slow song, just like the previously mentioned Doom metal stylings of Worms.../Rats... The lead guitarist of Hindi-Hardcore punkers "108" lends a hand, making this a very heavy track. Koller's drumming is also very effective because it's very loud, but it doesn't detract from the rest.
The next four tracks all clock to under three minutes, most of them only a minute and a half. They pretty much pick up the pace from Damages, and are, like usual with Converge fare music, absolutely bristling with energy.
Then the album really starts going into interesting territory. Cruel Bloom is a wonderfully executed track featuring Steve Von Till of "Neurosis", an awesome hardcore punk/ambient/industrial group. It's gloomy nature is pronounced by the haunting piano. Also, the choruses are very moving, with great melodic effect from several vocalists thanks to their soft voices. Then the band kicks in with a massive guitar riff, and throaty, more heavy metal styled growls from Von Till. Personally my favourite track on the album.
Wretched World sort of follows the same formula as the previous song, but is twice as long, which works for the song very well. Mookie Singerman of Genghis Tron is the lead vocalist, and has a softer, but less gloomy voice than Steve Von Till. This is not a falling grace at all because overall, the song simply kicks ass. Like the band's last epic track, "Grim Heart/Black Rose", it changes pace a little bit and Jacob jumps back into the lead role, closing the track aggressively.
So basically, the album builds on everything good the band has done so far, and goes into all sorts of new directions. Because of the experimentation, it should reinvigorate any listener, especially previous ones, into listening to the band's efforts further on. The talent at work here deserves praise, especially from the performances on the final two tracks. If anyone felt Converge was waning with "No Heroes", then this album will convince such skeptics otherwise. As I said before, what a fun album to listen to!

9.3/10

Breakdown:
- Many guest performances that serve the sound of the album very well.
- Notable guests, such as Sean Martin of Cage, Steve Von Till of Neurosis, and the backing vocalists on "Wretched World" should receive praise!
- Kurt Ballou flexes his guitarist muscle big time, especially on the thrilling opener, "Dark Horse."
- Jacob's singing is crazy as ever.
- So are his lyrics. Though they do depart a little from the rather personally-oriented stylings of their previous works, especially the masterpiece Jane Doe.
- Cruel Bloom is a magnificently executed song, and is overall the best on the album.
- Converge sort of plays with the Grim Heart/Black Rose formula on Wretched World, and to great effect. 
- The fact that the band experimented with new styles shows that they are not afraid to think outside the box. This suggests that the band feels a lot more enthusiasm in making great music than some may think.
- Neat artwork.



Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hands To The Fallen

Amongst the scattered scarred people
I drive home a shattered fate
I've set the benchmark for a new world
A world free from all the hate
Infecting all the open minds
With content and full grace
For the fellow man
For the fallen man

Truth sets us free
Knowledge is power
Truth lets me be
Knowledge is everything

Infect all the open minds
With content and full grace
For the fellow man
For the fallen man

I'm alive in a world beset with choices
Our choices make us
Rid of the malice I've sought to erase
We can all just try again
Infecting all the open minds
With content and full grace
For the fellow man
For the fallen man

Truth sets us free
Knowledge is power
Truth lets me be
Knowledge is everything

So Many Questions In Life

"What am I?"
What you wish to be

"Who are you?"
A friend or an enemy

"Where to go?"
Where the river flows

"When I'll know?"
Only you will know

"How can I stand on my two feet
After my energy seems replete?"
You've seen so much hardship
Been through so much heartache
I can only give you the best tips
That I know from my own mistakes

"What if my life turns around
And turns around again, back to hell?"
That will only happen if you let it
You've got to define your own way
It's easy to miss the path you've lit
But you're curious and that's okay

Tension In Chances

Senses
Tension in nests
Home
Gone in wind

Fight back
Don't give up
Unclear
Path is your's

Hard
Feel your misery
Rise
Take the chance

Senses
Mention of tense
Past
Haunts you now

Fight back
Don't you fear
Unsure
Path is your's

So hard
I feel your misery
Just rise
And take another chance

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sarah Palin: Kidding or Serious?

I always feel giddy when I think about the future Republican U.S Presidential runner, at least potential, Sarah Palin. I feel giddy because I know one thing that any realist out there also perhaps knows; she will be laughed out of the race.

What a joke she is! She's simply the biggest tool ever glimpsed in political history, for any nation in the world. In fact, I have a feeling that she will be dignified (gasp) by having her name recorded in a history book, of absolute mockeries in the political world of the United States of America. You may be asking, why is she the biggest tool, politically? It's because she was used to appeal to a viable, but disenfranchised group of people, who happen to hold the majority of the world population (even considering China's horrid maltreatment of infants); women.
Anyone who knows anything about the Republican party of the U.S, and of their standpoints in the last few decades, knows that they are NOT in favour of anything to do with women. They don't care to empower them, they want to empower men. It's a chauvinistic corporatist party, for the most part anyway (Ron Paul may spring to mind), and a lot of female voters in the U.S know it. Sarah Palin, simply a misinformed fool, foolishly trying her hand at governship in Alaska, was the Republican party's desperate means to (trying to) win the approval of female voters everywhere, especially feminists. The scam they ran by having her as the VICE PRESIDENTIAL FUCKING NOMINEE worked to get the support for a few of the gullible ones around the nation, but thankfully, not enough.

The media helped show that truth. The woman is, at best, fit for municipal politics, not national! The bitch hardly knows dick-squat about her own once-governed state for shit sake. (On her apparent foreign policy experience with Russia) "They're our next-door neighbors, and you can see Russia from land here in Alaska." What a fucking dropkick. This would mean that, given merely one requirement of any major political figure, like a Vice-President, is to have foreign policy experience, millions upon millions of Americans AND Canadians would be as qualified as she is, perhaps more, to serve in the upper echelons of either North American governments. Yeah, and I'm Wolf Blitzer you fucking joke.

Some people seem to be even threatened by her, or afraid of her. Gosh gee, why don'tcha just relax there, meester, you've nothing to feel low about. Sarah Palin keeps digging her hole deeper and deeper, she's a MASSIVE train-wreck waiting to happen, considering what she's been through already, and I guess the media realizes this. Hell, even Faux Noise is perhaps in the game. They are milking her soap-opera status, which is all she fucking has, for all it is worth until she finally hits the ground hard enough to make her realize what a joke she's been running with for so long. All thanks to the campaign organizers for John McCain, a corporatist wingnut who, even if he became the President, probably would have died of old age in office. The people who vouched to have the bumbling housewife buffoon that is Sarah Palin are perhaps bigger idiots than Sarah Palin is.

The bitch doesn't even seem to realize the stupidity of her every move, and that's not an exaggeration! Even if a million people across the United States support her in any way, that's only a million out of three-hundred eight million! She's got absolutely no chance if she runs for President, either this year or in 2012. The people who are egging her on are probably eager to see her finally gasp in amazement at how stupid she's been the past couple of years, and smarten up enough to realize that politics is not her game. I certainly am waiting for it because I am growing tired of her antics.

She may be in the mid-forties physically, but she acts like she's a god damn teenager emotionally as well as mentally; she does anything she can to get lots of attention. Campaign organizers blew the whistle on that one. Or the utter joke of a speech for the Tea Party (in which she was paid $100,000 by a bunch of racist idiots). If an utterly embarrassing failure to win the mid-term or end-term elections does happen, will she finally throw in the white towel and call it quits? One can only hope. She used to be an intriguingly pathetic joke, now she's just boring, and comes off as desperate as hell. For this fact alone, she needs to go.

So she should run for President. No one needs to be afraid of her becoming the next one because she simply won't. She's so obvious in her lack of experience and smarts that people will see her on the podium and nod in dumbfounded amazement. Anybody who has even a moderate level of self-respect and intellectual honesty will withhold the votes she'd need to get the highest position in U.S politics, and she'll be laughed right out, probably never to be dignified with our time again. Sarah Palin, or should I say, Sarah Failin, you bet'cha she'll loose, darn it, big time.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mars and Venus

Once in a while, and it's not a rare occurence either, I see a woman who has been burnt by previous relations with men expressing her disdain for them in some form. I realize each time I see that, though, that it's only disdain for the past, not the present nor the future. However, it's a victimization response, and is telling of a passive-aggressive personality. That'll be explained in a few moments' notice, but in a sense, each woman pretty much asked for her bad experiences.

What a lot of inexperienced girls/women do not realize about the average man, is that they have hunter instincts. Men use them in order to secure a mate, or even simply a person they can lay every day or two. There's always exceptions to every rule, but the GENERAL rule is that they will use whatever bait tactics they can think of. Not all men know, but a handful do know that a lot of women, especially young adults and teenagers, are looking for the "Knight In Shining Armour" archetype. Well I have some advice to all female readers; anyone can pretend to be your "Knight In Shining Armour", it's not difficult at all, even I, a more honest guy than usual, can do it. The guys who have experience fulfilling, at least for a while, this fantastical hope that a handful of women have, they know how the process works to come off this way. It's simply a bait tactic, and it hardly reveals what the man is really like. It's sad that a lot of women, and young adults fall for it, but a lot of women do.

These kinds of guys put on a show; they act like they are noble heroes, make a girl feel like he can sweep her off her feet and make her life whole, and they pretend to know all about chivalry. Chivalry is dead, ladies, and you killed it (forwarding the wisdom of David Chappelle). You see, I can spot a faker a mile away, especially when they play the KISA routine, typically when a girl has a broken heart, or has recently had her heart broken. But it seems women can't. There are some strong women out there in this case, strong enough to resist the temptation brought on by the KISA who happens to come around, interested in what he may get from her in her time of emotional weakness, but not a whole lot (from my experiences, anyway) are strong enough it seems.

This past August, one Saturday night, I sat right next to a girl, whom I adored and cared for so much, when she was extremely vulnerable emotionally. Beautiful and intriguing as she was, I knew, at the time, that if I wished, I could have at least gotten close to seducing her. This is because the KISA player appeals to every "recovery" emotion a girl can feel at such times. Every man has that side of him that wishes to get laid no matter what the cost, but I was in control. Out of sheer respect and adoration for her, I resisted the temptuous situation, and the primal urge to satisfy myself, knowing that those minutes I spent with her that night are only dreamed of by sex-starved jackasses who, if kept in the cage for too long, could possibly commit rape. This is not what I wanted to do to her, given her and I have talked quite a bit about personal issues in the past, and I knew her inside and out. I can guarantee, though, that perhaps 7 or 8 out of ten guys in the same situation would have at least tried to take advantage of her, appealing to her emotions to make her feel like the hero she's waited for all her life is right there beside her, even though he actually intends to get laid. Sad but true. I'll have nothing to do with it, thank you very much. Onward, though...

Girls & women alike need to be careful about guys that play this game, because in many cases, this is exactly what KISA players do. Men who play this game tend to be vultures of sorts, looking for (emotionally) wounded "prey", or women metaphorically speaking; swooping in and doing what they have to do get what they want; in this case, sex. I know of a few girls who have been taken advantage this way, one of them even got burnt by "Knights In Shining Armour" multiple times! And after a female realizes she has gotten burnt by a guy who seemed so "nice" and "caring" and all, she feels embarrassed, naive, and stupid of herself. I can't really blame them, though, because emotions can be manipulated quite easily in some circumstances, especially if a person feeling such emotions has little experience in dealing with them. But I would never wish a girl to go through this kind of manipulation.

Then there are guys who are simply not fit for a mate, at least when they are seeking one at first. They are guys who are not all that respectful; they are the "bad boys", or so they pretend to be as well. I can also spot guys like these, but they are almost exclusively limited to high-testosterone rowdy male youth trying to get at least one girlfriend on their belt. If a guy really wants something, he'll do anything to get it, even pretend to be something they are not. It's another tactic of a man who is very much in touch with his hunter instincts to get some poon-tang, in a matter of speaking. Doesn't fool me, though. Not to mention, a lot of these guys hardly put effort into how they approach a girl they're attracted to. Some of them even act stupid. Stupidity is not a virtue, ladies! It's something that we need to weed out. Stupidity only thrives when you allow it to proliferate, like having stupid children with stupid men. This may seem as if it were a rant, but in actuality, it's purely that.

There's one thing in common with both of these archetypes of men who approach women; deceit. But the women who fall for them may not think so at first. They'll get drawn in to the false promises they are given by the guys who play these games, and I personally feel it's because they're not srong enough to realize otherwise. And this is why I agree with Dave Chappelle in that chivalry was killed, unfortunately, by women themselves. The average girl has lower standards than in the past. Men, including myself, need to truly demonstrate his capabilities, if he has any at least. He needs to prove himself. After all, you can't survive in nature without demonstrating your best abilities, right? I bet you a handful of these guys couldn't survive an hour in the wilderness, if dropped in one with nothing but his hands and feet and his brain. But it seems that the overall confidence that girls, I think, should feel in themselves, has diminished enough so that they don't truly believe in their own abilities. Let alone the overall ability to judge properly their surroundings or experiences. What happened to cause the general dwindling of these things for women, especially the current generation, and quite possibly the next generation? How many factors are at play here, picking apart at a girls' self-esteem and confidence, lowering her standards in the process?

There is a very close-minded view, somewhat made obscure & subtle over time, to the point of subliminal messaging, that women can only prove themselves if they are with a guy. This is not true, because it doesn't encourage women in any way that they should do what every single person in this world should do for themselves; gather their independence. Every girl, and I mean every one, should be encouraged to feel security in themselves. This is the only way you can truly know what you want out of life, let alone in a man. When you don't have the independence you so sorely need to get the most out of life, how can you have anything figured out? You haven't truly been tested by the challenges of life if you haven't gained independence. and I feel there are things in our culture, and even in the way people raise their children, that are causing the loss of confidence that is necessary to gain self-security, or independence. I can't name them all, but the idea that women are not truly women until they get together with men and stay with them, is definitely one of them. It's not a healthy attitude to have, at all, especially since it doesn't encourage strength in character.

I personally want all women to have strength in themselves. Only then, will they hold men to the fire, and only then will the truly fit survive once again. Men who are not truly worthy of women, need to be shot down. It's a necessary character builder, that if not accepted by the one who is shot down, shows whether or not a man is, at least at his time of life, is fit for a mate. This needs to happen more. It's kind of why I am with George Carlin in his views against the self-esteem movement, where people teach their children that they are all special; that they are all winners. You have to prove yourself. And men need to prove themselves to women. Pretty much every other animal in the animal kingdom does this, why can't we? It makes sense, after all.

So, ladies, there's no need to complain just because you got yourself hooked up with an inexperienced jackass who didn't deserve you in the first place. We're not all the same. Some of us do give a shit about how we approach you, and we do give a shit about how we run our own lives. We're just not the ones who will do anything to attract you. We're much more subtle than the pretenders, and that is your hint at finding the real men. Don't lump us all in the same boat; you just didn't look in the right direction. Learn from your mistakes, and get yourself some standards

Monday, February 15, 2010

Taste Of Godflesh

Invoke the dead
Which won't stay down
Their last fated cries
You now hear

The taste
Of Godflesh
Stays trickling
In your mouth

Harbor a soul
In your eclipsing
Shamed arms
Void of power

The taste
Of Godflesh
Stays trickling
In your mouth

Medusa's touch
Like that of Midas
Crumbles them all
The beloved gone

Stroke the damned
Stillbirth passings
You're a beacon
Of this power

The taste
Of Godflesh
Stays trickling
In your mouth

Invoke the dead
Which won't get up
The last they've touched
Was your hand

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Common Universal Ancestry

Control divination
Behold
Illusion

Unkempt prediction
Lacking
Guidance

Just unconscious
Is the way
The way
Of all time

Intrinsically linked
We are one
We are all
Intrinsically linked
We are one
We are all
One and the same

Golddigger

Born in a travesty
Faceless from the seams
No loving god above
To feed you starving love

And now I am here
No one you should fear
But unfair defaults
Bear me fatal faults

Can you see
See me beyond
Red eyes
Red eyes of hatred?

All that I loved
About you, as a dove
Shattered with trust
Anger on me you thrust

I'm not your enemy
I hold fair meaning
Just no loving god above
To feed you starving love

Can you see me beyond
Your red eyes of hatred?
Where's the hope to live
For the world of mine I've given

Which you'll never give
To keep you forever starving
Of the love you seek
The love you leech

Can you see
See me beyond
Red eyes
Red eyes of hatred?

Can this be
All we'll need
Blue eyes
Blue eyes of tears

Shedding

I'm not your enemy
I hold fair meaning
No loving god above
To feed you starving love

Cold Hand

I'm not me

Clawed, cold hand
Reaches inside me
For my heart
And my meaning

I am not all that you see
I now seek to kill with glee

Clawed, cold hand
Twists inside me
Holds my heart
And my meaning

I am no longer all you've known
I'm the evil the seed in me has grown

I'm not me
Can't you see?

Look into the eyes of death
And fear what you see

I'm not me
Don't love me

Friday, February 12, 2010

Fear Factory Mechanize (Deluxe Edition) Review



Fear Factory
Mechanize

"...These are the words of a reality that once seemed distant, that are now apparently, and evidently real. These are the words of the world in which we live; for what once seemed like a story of another time, has come to be our reality today. Welcome to the world of 'Mechanize'." - Burton C. Bell

Fear Factory is definitely back in full-metal action with this latest offering. The overall result of the album makes it seem as if the band discarded everything past Obsolete, which has been argued to be their best product to date; the band embraces the old, and shows us even more of the new. And this is all a good thing, because Mechanize is a promising look at the direction the band may be taking. With Rhys Fulber, the band's industrial essence creator back in the producer position for the band, everything seems green-lit for what turns out to be the best Fear Factory album of the 21st century so far. That's a stunning feat to pull off, so read on.
Of course, the industrial aspect immediately prepares you for what is to come in the title track. It's effective, and shows that Fear Factory has definitely re-embraced their Demanufacture/Obsolete style. A nu-metal rhythm kicks in, followed by Gene Hoglan's stunning abuse of percussion, all within milliseconds of each other. Burton's singing follows suit after a short delay in sound, and his vocals are throatier than they've been in perhaps a decade. Fear Factory is a groove-oriented band, and like a machine, the song follows through in such a fashion.
"Industrial Discipline" follows in a similar fashion, but with less emphasis on the vocals from Burton. The chorus parts are solid, however, reminiscent of Demanufacture-era chorus arrangements. The structure of the song is consistent throughout the song, slowing down a bit just after the middle of the song, then back to the catchy groove established at the beginning. The song closes with a sound-scape that may very well remind you of the slower, more atmospheric tracks on their best record, previously mentioned almost ad nauseum by now.
Perhaps my favourite track, "Fear Campaign" opens with spoken-word dark ambient/industrial spookery, which leads to Burton huffing, then roaring into the microphone. Hoglan compliments him with blazing fast drum delivery. The song sticks to a groove metal structure, but then just after the middle of the song, a musical element that was never used in Fear Factory history makes its mark; a guitar solo! Thankfully, it doesn't detract from the song style at all, rather enhancing it. Kudos to Dino for the effort, which worked out well. This track features some of the best instrument work from all of the band members, so it's definitely a highlight.
The next song will remind of you "Shock" from Obsolete, almost completely. It's the first single from the album, but doesn't quite stand up to the previous two tracks.
Christploitation, a strangely titled tune, builds up to the metal fury with some eerie industrial work thanks to producer Rhys Fulber (Front Line Assembly). This is, so far, the most electronic-infused track to take place on the album. This doesn't detract from the sonic assault heard on previous tracks.
Some more "Obsolete" influence comes through in the following track. Distortion effects on Burton's vocals gives the song a sinister tone. Dino provides catchy thrash riffs in the chorus. Not quite up there with the previous tracks, but that isn't a falling point for the album.
Yet another Obsolete-esque introduction kicks in for Controlled Demolition, but with some solid riffing from Dino. Burton's singing structure comes off as a bit repetitive at this point in the album, heard in just about every track so far on Mechanize. Here's to hoping that Burton considers a new approach, but he still remains as my favourite vocalist for a band. Machine-gun musicianship does kick in at mid-point, but it's to be expected by Fear Factory.
The album slows down considerably, which is not a negative factor by any means, in Designing the Enemy. Some of Burton's best melodic vocals are featured in this song's introduction and choruses, with Dino providing killer riffs in the background. There are also some odd time signatures here and there. Burton growls at mid-point, which is very cool to listen to, hopefully setting the stage for more of them to come in later endeavors. This is one of the better songs on the album, recovering after a slight fall in quality from the last few tracks.
Instrumentals are not common when it comes to Fear Factory. Plus, the time signatures seem a bit strange. No matter, it's a good setup for the official closer of the album.
Final Exit is one of the better closing tracks the band has executed in quite some time, being somewhat reminiscent of A Therapy For Pain from Demanufacture. It's a very melodic track, with great musicianship all around. The song also has some of the best verses and choruses uttered by Burton in the entire album, especially in the parts where he bellows, "Goodbye..." Some nu-metal style vocals are thrown in, but that's not a bad thing, as it doesn't distract from the overall package of this closer. At the halfway point of the song's duration, the rest of the song continues in an industrial/ambient fashion. I have only one qualm with that; the heavy metal portion of the song could have been elongated to better accommodate this song's duration, since it would have kept any listeners' attention seated longer, which would definitely help.
But since I have the Deluxe edition of the album, I'll move onto the bonus track; Crash Test! This is a slight remake of the original, and the most noticeable changes are in the vocals (obviously), and in the sounds heard in the beginning. Even though the original featured some tortured screaming, setting up the mood of the lyrics in the song, this features none of that. Despite losing some of the song's power from the original introduction alone, the rest of the track follows almost spot-on.
The rest of the tracks consist of their 1991 demo! The songs are radically different from the products of both "Concrete" and of "Soul Of A New Machine", but that's understandable, because the demo tracks were recorded in an amateur fashion in comparison. I especially like the demo of Big God, a somewhat longer take on the first segment of their legendary Big God/Raped Souls track, heard originally on Soul... and Concrete. Burton has some very throaty death metal growls in those tracks, which of course do not stand up to the sheer ferocity heard on their true debut, and even that of Soul...
This was an enjoyable release from my favourite band. It's a step back in the right direction, and is a huge recovery from the last couple of releases, although "Archetype" is considered to be among their best albums to date by some. With Dino back in the fold, Gene Hoglan replacing the disgruntled Raymond Herrera as the drummer (and what a machine Gene has turned out to be!), and Burton torturing his larynx even more, Fear Factory has done little wrong with "Mechanize." Let's hope that they work with what was present here in the next album, and possibly even take it to another level. "A" for effort. Even though it's too bad that Burton & Dino are entangled in a legal case against Christian & Raymond over the Fear Factory name, indeed, the former duo has done something right.

8.9/10

Breakdown:
- Reinvigorates the band's sound into something refreshing.
- Seems to ignore all that happened after Dino left.
- The "Man vs. Machine" theme has not returned.
- Solid drumming from Gene Hoglan. He's a great choice as a replacement drummer.
- The inclusion of a guitar solo is somewhat out of place, but nonetheless, no complaints here.
- The Deluxe Edition content, which features the band's 1991 Demo, gives added reason to buy the album. Considering that they're demo content, they are actually competent enough to be part of an actual LP release.
- Standout tracks, such as "Industrial Discipline", "Fear Campaign", "Designing The Enemy", and the magnificent closer "Final Exit" are a showcase of what we can all expect from the band's future works.
- Burton's vocal ability is more flexed than ever.
- Decent songwriting, but somewhat repetitive song structures (with what seems to be the same beat in at least half of the songs).

G

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Passage

Trudge on, watch the leaves fall
Work a day's living to get by
I can see the procession
And bear the season's blood fall
Which the tidal season brings forth
A last passage opens before me
Without witness by all
I can choose to escape it
Or wholly welcome it
My final breath

Crawl on, watch the grass grow
Give & take, it all ends
We all get a new beginning
I can taste the air flow
Of a fallen fellow
Which is redirected to me
To be shared by all
I can choose to accept it
Or wholly reject it
My final breath

Move on, watch the tears fall
One will follow before me
New blood will carry my memory
Sticks and stones dot the ground
Which my ashes will call home
I have no final destination
I'll be a part of us all
I can choose to escape it
Or wholly welcome it
My final breath
My passage
My final breath
Rejuvenation

Friday, January 22, 2010

Glistening Flesh

I try so hard to see things in a better way
Knowing deep inside it's not right
When I stop thinking every day about you
I'll be in the clear once more
It truly hurts to think
That I may have to let go of you
No pain, no gain it seems
And I know that I want the best for me

It's over, no more from your trauma dreams
Or your failed promises
It's over, I will wise up as I grow older
To see through glistening flesh

You left a mark on my burdened soul
It will take so long to heal
I can taste freedom from my longing for something good
From you there's nothing
It truly burns me within
That I lost something I could have had with you
I will paint your skin
With the lies you told me, and the cold manipulation

It's over, no more from your trauma dreams
Or your failed promises
It's over, I will wise up as I grow older
To see through glistening flesh

Let me move on
Let me live
I see beyond
Glistening flesh

Time will heal all wounds
I will be rid of you
Signs that I'll improve
Eye me around every corner
You left me in disorder
You left me in disarray

It's over, no more from your trauma dreams
Or your failed promises
It's over, I will wise up as I grow older
To see through glistening flesh

What lies above hides what is beneath
A smooth face hiding a scarred heart
To see through glistening flesh
Is to win the war on cold hearts

Ballistic

Make swift exit from me
Or I will go to ballistics
And paint this city red
And the blood will rest upon you
You turn me the wrong way
One too many times
And I can't tolerate it
And you wallow in it all

I'm going over the edge

Imp in sheep's clothing
Succubus of the mind
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge

Ballistic

Make swift exit from me
Or I will go to ballistics
And bring ruin to everything
And you will be the last of me
You rub me the wrong way
Only one last time
And I cannot take it
And you won't hurt me again

I'm going over the edge

Imp in sheep's clothing
Succubus of the mind
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge

Ballistic

This is my last stand
I will bring ruin
To all we all hold dear
If I find you anywhere near
I'm going feral soon
I'll go apeshit from you
And your mind games
And I will not blink

As I go ballistic

I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge
I'm going over the edge

Imp in sheep's clothing
Succubus of the mind
Devil in fancy red dress
This is the last time

I'm going over the edge
I'm going to ballistics

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Armageddon

The end times will never arise
The bloody end I've prophesied
Sold to foolish sods every way
Stupidly believe in the end of days
Armageddon

I'm a con with the darkest heart
My words are a weapon, lies like art
Poisoning the well for the "heretics"
My polemics consist of all but shit
Armageddon

Hellbent on spreading words of venom
I am the keeper of light in God's eye
Hellbent on spreading words of venom
I am the keeper of light in God's eye

We bow to him
We swear to him
Armageddon
We bow to him
We swear to him
Armageddon

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I Have To Follow

You say that I have to follow
Who says that I am a dog to begin with?
You insist that I have to follow
With my will, I'm not one to mess with
No one can lead us into the fire
Without throwing a funeral pyre

They say that I have to follow
Who's the king and who makes the rules?
They insist that I have to follow
He who hammers down us all is cruel
Not one man can lead us to death
Without a payback for his debt

I have to follow
The world is so hollow
I have to follow
The depths of freedom so shallow

Can he make us all equals?
Can he bridge the gap separating us all?
Will he live on his promises?
Or will he treat us all like piss?

I have to follow
The world is so hollow
I have to follow
The depths of freedom so shallow

I will not fall for a self-proclaimed king
Who did not fight for such a petty thing
I will not collect my freedom to give them up
To him, this life is mine

You say that I have to follow
Who will make me a willing doormat?
They say that I have to follow
If I defy him, will he take off my head?
Bring yourself down to our league
And with the suffering you've brought to us
I'll make you fucking see
And then you will plead

I won't follow you
The world is just too hollow

Friday, January 1, 2010

Spiritual Immolation

Open the doors for my past demons
To fly right back in, kicking & screaming
Why don't you open it further for them
You seem to enjoy the chaos ensuing
You'll get yours', mark my words now
I'll put you in the position you put me in
And then you can swallow the laughter
That you so seem to enjoy
You'll pay for this, you'll burn for this
You'll suffer spiritual immolation
You'll scream for this, you'll bleed for this
You'll suffer spiritual immolation
Your heart will break
And I won't reach out my hand
And heal you again