(Originally Off-Site) My Breakdown of the Federal Parties of Canada

Here's my honest breakdown of the parties in this country (Federal), ordered by the results of the 2019 election. I ramble a lot so be aware of that. Won't have the best grammar ever but that's not what was important here. The views represented below are entirely my own, represented only by my experiences and what I've heard/read about these parties.

 

Without further ado...

 

Liberals = Inconsistent

 

Want to please everyone but spreads themselves too thin doing so; leader lives for attention; neoliberal economics but fine elsewhere; spend like crazy under Trudeau (though they were forced to spend a lot during this pandemic, let's be honest here); poor optics (WE Scandal [just plain poor optics on this one], SNC-Lavalin Affair, Aga Khan Scandal, Blackface Scandal [don't really care personally as it was about 20 years ago and the people in the incriminating photo have come out and said it was all in the name of fun]). Received FIVE YEARS worth of illegal donations from SNC-Lavalin. A bit of cronyism. Inception levels of inconsistency; for example, they claim to be for fighting climate change but then they support O&G expansion projects but on THAT front they decline some pipelines but approve others so they're at least two-levels of inconsistent on this very topic alone...*takes a breath* The alternatives though are either awful (see the next party below) or just not viable enough at this time to consider voting for (pretty much anyone else)

 

On the other hand...

 

They handled the pandemic fairly well all things considered (should have shut down incoming air travel, if only for a short period); Trudeau is compared too much to his father even though they're kind of different, and they can never please everyone (so they should STOP TRYING!). Justin is a bit stingy with criticism (to be fair, a lot of what he gets is straight bullshit so how can you blame him?). Justin gets attacked so often in such crazy ways that I'm often left bewildered and (trust me this really sucks) I'm often forced to defend him from the bullshit people constantly fling in his direction. They're not Conservative and thus that's a huge benefit in their favour, no questions fucking asked.

 

Conservatives = Treacherous & Criminal

 

Talks about "reigning in spending" and lowering the deficit all the time, but do the exact opposite every fucking time they hold office ANYWHERE; terrible leadership that makes me cringe; would be more likely to leave us all to the lurch instead of helping us; spreads conspiracy theories and shitposts; all bark and no bite; cronyism galore; Candice Bergen, Pierre Poill–PP!; they like TRUMP STYLE POLITICS! Leading into Harper's reign of terror, the more reasonable Conservatives merged with the batshit crazy Reform party and became a horrific hybrid mutant ever since. Could have prevented or at least changed (to whatever extent I do not know) the bullshit in the equalization payments system but nope, and here we are with a divisive system; SHAMELESS neoliberalism and completely bonkers everywhere else (sometimes they accept LGBTQ+, sometimes they don't...); Stephen Harper still kind of runs the party from the shadows (to what extent I don't think we'll ever really know); will never recover from Harper IMO. Wanted to spend $60 billion on outdated fighter jets; inconsequential "Canadian Action Plan"; lives on division between the West and the East. This party gave us two completely imbecilic and criminal scumbags running, right at the moment of this writing, two separate provinces: the egg salad sammich-loving dingus known as Doug Ford (dubiously running Ontario), and the horrendously criminal and borderline-fascistic Jason Kenney (hard at work in running Alberta into the ground). Thinking of this party irks me to an extent that you wouldn't believe...

But wait, there's more!

 

Enjoys an alliance with "Canada Proud" hate groups that DIRECTLY BENEFITS THEM! Loves cutting social programs we all pay into but makes us more beholden to private industry when the party guts these same services or sells them out. Hates taxes (for themselves and their rich buddies) but otherwise loves them (for the rest of us). They've shown in every province they run (into the ground) that they have no earthly clue what the hell they're doing in response to COVID-19 and would rather put the economy ahead of your fucking health; if they hadn't privatized our former world-renowned vaccine production facilities (Connaught Labs) we'd likely be far better off than we are now so FUCK THIS PARTY! Oh and don't forget actually enacting the long-debated FIPA, which gives China a trade advantage on Canada and a means to sue us more easily when their investments are threatened.

 

They uh...had a transit tax rebate that actually managed to encourage people to use public transit to some degree? That was killed under Trudeau for some frustrating reason. Mulroney, who still sucked overall, declared a number of national parks to be protected land (Haida Gwaii is one of them). I really don't know what else to say that is positive about this party because they're a bunch of criminal, disgusting scumbags.

 

Bloc Quebecois = Single-Minded

 

Only really cares about Quebec and her interests, and how the fuck did they get in third place. What do they really DO for the country as a whole? They straight embarrassed the NDP by attaining third-party status. Dafuq?

 

Uh...what good do they do? They perpetuate the divide between East and West so I don't care for this party.

 

NDP = Hopeless

 

Have terrible messaging; engages in attack politics not unlike the CPC; can't provide solid solutions; leader squanders his position most of the time; leader votes 'yes' on many Liberal causes/proposals, but virtue signals with 'criticisms' elsewhere, and this sends mixed signals to everyone else; no unity with provincial chapters; might never achieve what Jack Layton did in 2011 at this rate; finally, is Singh actually a socially-liberal Conservative plant?!

 

Jack Layton was a pretty cool guy in the end (R.I.P.); they came up with our healthcare system thanks to Tommy Douglas (voted "Greatest Canadian" in the mid-2000's); can actually be PROGRESSIVE (if they unified better and actually had the solutions to back it up), and they are currently in a position to hold Trudeau's cabinet to a higher standard although they don't often do this much to the chagrin of many.

 

Green = Neutered

 

They have no chance, we never get to hear their platform unless the stars are aligned right, and are hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned with just two seats in Parliament. Elizabeth May can't seem to think straight for more than five seconds. Canada's Texas thinks these people are just hippies so you can't count on a reliable handful of votes from them. Has only a couple of good (and necessary) ideas but very few practical ones. A crippling degree of instability within their ranks, coupled with what few political players they actually have in the game, will hurt this party in the long term.

 

They stand for the environment. Actually showed solidarity with protestors standing up for indigenous rights. Wants to push for better renewable energy production. Was for the legalization of dope before pretty much anyone else.

 

Independent = Pointless

 

Nothing will ever happen here but I guess I personally fall here because I personally cast a protest vote in the 2019 election. Not next time, though.

 

If enough people vote independently (or do what I did in 2019 and cast protest votes) then maybe, in some alternate universe, it might shake up our elections enough that some people take notice? Won't hold my breath on this approach, though. After all, who is going to notice? This won't get the ones in power quaking in their boots any time soon.

 

People's Party = Idiotic

 

Haha, Maxime Bernier started this because he was rejected by the CPC in his leadership bid, his results were pitiful; a more fringe CPC overall. Really just a redundant party, if only a bit more honest somehow than the CPC is in terms of their economic positions. Appears to be staffed by active racists or 'former' racists and I'm not fucking kidding on this one.

 

I don't know what good they did, honestly. Just a slightly-altered copy of the CPC.

The Sudden Necessity for Bill O'Reilly's Immediate Retirement

While many of his critics would argue that he's lost the plot ages ago, I think if there's any event that would cement him as a bonafide crazy would be his recent call on the government to hire 25,000 mercenaries to kill Islamic terrorists. Of course, that would start with ISIS.

It's not enough that audiences of news media, especially Fox (although that's par the course for those chickenhawks), are constantly being constantly brow-beaten with the notion that an all-out war on ISIS is necessary. However, these outlets ignore the majority opinion that the people don't want war on the battlefield again. The 'war' on terror commenced in 2003 will go down in the history books as one of the biggest flukes carried out by the U.S. Military. Now the loudmouths in the media want another battle.

Of course, none of them will ever set foot on a battlefield themselves.

That includes Bill O'Reilly, a long-time chickenhawk who has never served in the military, never served even a term in the Senate or Congress, and hasn't even mustered a short-term political career. He's a talking head spewing bullshit on a news network, and that's all he will be until he retires. In spite of his covering "four wars with a pen", to quote the old man himself, he has never actually set foot on a battlefield in his life and thus is not intimately aware of the pain of war.

Papa Bear is a stubborn man, and, as is evident in the following, quite senile and probably demented at that. Because he feels that the building coalition against ISIS isn't efficient or bloodthirsty enough for his tastes, let alone in defiance of international ethics, his solution is simple: get the Federal government to hire a militia of 25,000 well-paid, well-armed mercenaries. You know, it's only to do the bidding of the army, the same one that the U.S. President is unwilling to send more people to die for a cause in spite that, so far at least, it has had no effect on anyone inside of the United States. Here is a video wherein he puts forth this "solution":



O'Reilly seems absolutely unaware of the myriad of problems posed by the very idea he's pimping on his show. The human rights violations that would occur, the inconsistency of actual service, lack of actual oversight, "English speakers" being unable to understand those who could be their allies, the fact that this conflict could last for years before seeing any resolve, and many other problems. If you want to just tackle the financial problem with this dastardly idea, here it is: if you pay each mercenary $100,000 a year, and you hire up to the capacity O'Reilly called for, that would amount to $2.5 billion a year. That doesn't take into account logistics, training, medical, armament, off-site intelligence & planning, and others.

Hell, he doesn't even consider that mercenaries are definitely "in it for the money", who disregard the how and the why they do what they do to make their paychecks. This isn't a fucking movie or videogame, Bill, it's real life. And if you want money to be the deciding factor in whether things get done, then you're going into insane territory.

Such people as Paul Eaton, a retired U.S. Army major general, Jamie Barnett, a former U.S. Navy rear admiral,Dennis Laich, a 35-year military veteran & retired U.S. Army major general, and even O'Reilly's (usual) butt-buddy Charles Krauthammer called him out on it. Here is what Krauthammer said to O'Reilly in response to the outlandish idea:

With that idea, you have gone from 'out of the box' to 'off the wall.' You want to create a French Foreign Legion, but we are not the French Empire policing West Africa in the 19th century. Do you really want to be responsible for a band of desperados? On one hand you'll have ISIS people who believe in something, and on the other hand you'll have people who are there just for the money. Who do you think wins?

He hasn't stopped there, though. Since then he has said "only dumb people like Stephen Colbert oppose anti-terror mercenary army idea." And here is the tip of the day in which he stupidly promotes his mercenary idea, acting like he never received criticism from military veterans and experts:



Oh, get off it, old man. You've not only gone off the wall, you've gone flying off the edge of the top of the grand canyon. Your idea is problematic in so many ways they number in, at the very least, the double digits. You have no military training nor expertise whatsoever; you've never experienced the terrors of war for yourself, you've never served, and you never will given that you're a senile old man, and you clearly hold little regard for the men & women who do serve. To you it's about beating your chest, flashing your penis out of insecurity, and saying "I have the biggest, best dick in the world!" No one is fooled except for the drooling idiots who voted on your non-scientific poll, that is unless there is something shady with the results (given Fox's history of blatantly reversing poll results that appear on air to paint an opposing picture, it's likely).

You've put your foot in your mouth, you want your country to violate international law, and you want people to die. You want your country to pay billions, at the very least in wages, to fulfill your sick fantasy, in spite of your arguing over & over on your show that the U.S. cannot afford anything. You're a hawk with towering cowardice, your idea is entirely unethical, and given that you should be informing people with objective information rather than yelling talking points, you should be fired. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, and it's high time that you're sacked -- before you get another person killed for petty or immoral reasons.